My Stop Doing List

Good morning, gorgeous souls!

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about dream scheming and goal-setting, which prompted me to write yesterday's quick note about balance. As a follow-up to that post, I'd like to dive a little deeper today and talk about letting go.

It was Danielle LaPorte who said that what you stop doing is just as important as what you start and continue to do. Let me explain...

We all know how to go, go, go but do we know how to stop doing what's no longer serving us?

Maybe it's that you're stretching yourself too thin, you're taking on 352395 projects and can't seem to focus on any of them. There's the stuff - the juicy stuff - that really lights you up, and there's everything else, the stuff you like but could really do without yet you keep on keeping on out of obligation.

Maybe it's that you're holding yourself to these crazy high expectations and constantly feel like you're falling behind. You've got that wicked to-do list, and you keep on adding to it, but never seem to cross as much off as you'd like, which is making you feel like you're not qualified enough, talented enough, doing enough, or just enough. Period.

Now that we're close to that mid-year mark, let's set aside some time to reassess...

+ When you started off the year, where were you at? Reflect back. Did you set goals? Intentions?

+ Where are you now? Do those goals and intentions align with how you feel today? Get crystal clear on your feelings and desires. (Write 'em out, if it helps!)

+ Next, think about what you're deeply passionate about. The stuff that makes you feel alive when you do it, the stuff you were born to do.

+ Are you feeling how you want to feel? Are you spending your time doing the things that make you feel your best? If you're coming up with a big, fat no - stop doing them.

Seriously. This is the time to look back and get clear on what's sucked. What's not working? Do you have any resentment towards certain tasks? What's leaving you feeling bogged down, guilty, like dead weight? That's your giant red flag. The big ol' stop sign. Let it come to a screeching halt. Shut it down. Pull back. Cease fire!

When you stop doing what's no longer serving you,

you open the door for so much more.

Declare it, here and now! Here's my stop doing list:

1. I will no longer allow fear to fuel me. Instead, I will let the resistance act as a guide to push me further and lovingly embrace vulnerability. Even if it scares me to bits. Even if I'm afraid of push back or looking silly/unqualified/abrasive/etc. Time to open up and get real. It's the best thing all over the place - my relationships, my career, and my writing.

2. I will stop saying yes to opportunities that come up as a big no in my head. My own joy is the new driving force in town, so all the justifications to keep on going even though I'm not happy with what I'm doing? Out the window. It's time to be honest with myself and my truest desires. (AMEN!)

3. No more feeling like I have to be superwoman. I hold myself up to high expectations and want to be everything and do everything but, I'm just me. Some days being gentle with myself can be an uphill battle and the pressure weighs down. No more being so damn hard on myself. No more "I should be doing _________" or "How can I cram more of _________" It's all about self-love.

4. I will not let social media distract me. Disconnecting can be a difficult thing. This means no more leaving Facebook, Twitter, or email open when I'm writing. I find when I just get right down to it, I work so much better and "the flow" flows.

5. No more going to bed late. I'm discovering that my best work happens first thing in the morning, and that means getting to bed early so I wake up feeling energized and refreshed.

6. Stop rushing and running around. I've been called a tad bit forgetful. (That may or may not be an understatement) This can send me running around, trying to pick up the bits that have fallen to the wayside, all the while stressing me out. It's okay. The world will keep spinning. Even in times of chaos, I will remember to take deep breaths and be still.

All of these things distract me, stress me out, bring me down, leaving me feeling drained and bogged down. By freeing up the space that these activities hold, I'm opening myself up for the things that make me feel enlivened, energized, and empowered. Tackle the small steps with great love and see where it takes you.

What's on your stop doing list? What's taking up valuable head space that you need to clear out? Say it loud and proud in the comments!

Image via Julian Bialowas

twitter - instagram - pinterest - bloglovin' - email

The Love List

Hey there, gorgeous!

 

It’s been go, go, go around these parts lately. These past couple of weeks have been packed full of highs, lows, and everything in between and while of course I wish I could wake up to the ocean every morning with an open schedule to do whatever I please, I wouldn’t change a thing. Even if I sometimes get the feeling I’ve lost my mind to the clouds.

 

The past month has been all about expansion and as I’ve been cracking open my heart to accept more love, abundance, and opportunity, the word “balance” keeps slipping itself in there. Words like gentle, peace, calm, and joy flow through my mind. These words pop up as I set my intentions for the day, reminding myself ever-so-slightly to be present. With a flick of a switch, I can feel guilty for not making time for certain goals, and the nagging need to prioritize my world takes over. The desire to find that tricky space of balance becomes seemingly overpowering.

 

The truth is that balance is bullshit. It doesn’t exist. While I try on my own version of balance, I’ll fumble and fall, but as long as I remember to live passionately without restraint, I’ll always be succeeding. Unattainable goals only drag you down, so maybe it’s time we all let go of what’s making us feel less-than-good. While you’re at it, amp up what makes you feel like your best self. Guilt-free. An afternoon nap when you should be editing? Dive in. Taking an evening to yourself to veg out, hop in a hot bubble bath, and sip on some wine? It’s yours for the taking. Stop working so hard and you just may find that the answer you’ve been searching for will pop up out of the blue.

 

But first? Take one, long, deep breath. As you exhale, imagine the guilt-ridden notions leaving your body, and feel yourself getting lighter. The labels, the expectations, whatever’s weighing you down.

 

Ready? Breeeeeeeeeathe.

 

Now let’s dive into this week’s love list…

 

ACTION PACKED WEEKEND

 

The weekend that was! There’s nothing I love more than spending time with the people I love the most, and this weekend?! It just kept on giving. Over the course of three days, anywhere from 12-16 of us made our way around Toronto, soaking up this glorious long weekend. It started off with cheering on the Toronto FC soccer team, while indulging in a little stadium food before we headed back to a hotel for some drinks + laughs until we made our way to the Loose Moose. Can I just say bruschetta fries? Whoa.

 

The next day, it was up and at ‘em! We hopped on the ferry to Toronto Island for a little frisbee golf, ice cream, butter tarts (I’m still dreaming about them!), picnic bench hangouts, and twisted iced teas. All surrounded by the most beautiful atmosphere. (You can imagine our excitement when the sun decided to make an appearance!) And I’m just going to throw this out there - us girls made wicked cheerleaders! (Just look at our leg kicks!) After nearly missing the ferry back (30 seconds later and we would’ve been out of luck!) we kept the party going throughout the evening.

 

To cap off the weekend, it was route, route, route for the home team! We sported our Blue Jays team gear, giant pretzels, and overpriced beer in hand and cheered loudly leading to an incredible victory for the Jays!!! All in all, it was a May 2-4 that will be prrretty difficult to top. Just goes to show that when you get an awesome group of people together, magic happens.

 

 

WARM, SPRING DAYS

We've been back home from vacation for over two weeks now and the best thing about coming home was most definitely coming home to Spring. GLOR-I-OUS! Birds chirping, fresh air, flowers galore! It's my kind of weather.

 

Sebastian and I have been venturing out in the evenings, searching for little pockets of beauty. Both of us are yearning to escape the city, so any chance to get away from the concrete and buzz of traffic is welcome with open arms. (Any other city-dwellers out there? Are you feelin' me or what?!)



 

REMINISCING

I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you when I'll stop reminiscing about our time away :) These photos just keep lighting me up.

Over to you: Is there anything on your mind that you need to let go of? Let this be your permission slip to release anything holding you back - from being your true self, from that big opportunity, the next step, pressing "publish" on the post you're afraid of, talking to someone you admire... just release it, and let your heart lead the way! You'll never have to look back again.

twitter - instagram - pinterest - bloglovin' - facebook - email

Allie + Sebastian Get Married! The Details + Our Wedding Video (Part 4)

Ahhh, the details! Since we had a destination wedding, the planning process was smooth sailing. A simple checklist of what we wanted from the resort, a few items we packed with us, and there you have it! (I had a very proud moment when we were able to fit all wedding-related items in one suitcase! Hip-hip-hooray!)

It's the little things that tie the wedding together, and show off just a bit of our own personalities, and now I'm giving you the inside scoop on it all! From gorgeous floral pieces to a little something to cure a hangover! Enjoy...

FLORALS

Because they're just so darn gorgeous...

WHAT I WORE

Funny story about the dress: back in August I went dress shopping for the first time, and didn't expect to find anything I liked. I tried on one shoulder dresses, big puffy dresses, ones with ruffles, bows, sparkles, rhinestones galore... I never thought about my wedding dress once in my life. When I was asked what I was looking for, I just sort of shrugged, not knowing where to even begin. (Talk about options out the wazoo! Holy cow!)

That same day, as I was trying on dress after dress, I was handed the dress you're seeing today. I looked at it and scrunched my face. Nah, it's not me, I don't really like it.

But on it went! And my face just lit up. Oooh, I really like it. It was flowy, beachy, tucked in just the right spots, and had just the right amount of sparkle. (It even had built-in air conditioning as the dress opened at the bottom, revealing my legs as I walked, bonus!)

I stepped out of the room, showing it off to my Mom and now Mother-In-Law. My Mom's jaw practically smashed into the floor, speechless, and my Mother-In-Law was in tears.

And that was it. The first day, I couldn't believe it! Something I had expected to be a long and grueling process stretching out for weeks on end, just clicked, like so many other details during the planning process. Another moment where I just kept repeating, meant to be.

During the ceremony, I really wanted to go barefoot, so when I stumbled upon these barefoot sandals, I was head over heels. (Ha-ha!) The girls wore light pink beads, while I stuck to ivory. The material was soft and stretchy, so after putting them on, they were really comfortable and we didn't feel them at all! (They'll probably end up making a few more appearances this summer:)

Not pictured: On the morning of the wedding, I was surprised with two family heirlooms: my grandma's blue hankercheif, and a "T" pin that her mother gave her when she was little. I was blown away! It felt incredible being able to have a piece of her with me on such an important day in my life.

THE PROGRAMS

Can I just toot my own horn for a second and tell you how much I loved our programs? Sebastian and I put our heads together and created them ourselves and I just love them! We used a photo from our engagement session, worked a little magic in Photoshop/Illustrator, and voila!

On the day of the ceremony, we placed them with a hand fan (that we got for a wicked deal in Chinatown!) on each of the chairs. It was so nice seeing the final product and finally being able to reveal everything to our guests. We kept all the details a secret from everyone because we wanted each person to experience everything for the first time that day.

Here's how they looked...

OTHER BITS + PIECES 

I was absolutely in love with our place cards, found on FairyfolkWeddings Etsy shop. (Who was a dream to order from!)  I really wanted to stray away from the traditional place cards and have something that our guests could have as a keepsake from the actual wedding day.

Once they came in, I wrote out each of our guests names on the cards, and we were set! They were a little bit tricky to set up, just because they have to be "just-so" to get the cards to sit correctly, but they looked so beautiful on the tables. (Have a look at this post for a glimpse of the table settings!)

Our guestbook was one of my favourite pieces we picked up for the big day! We worked with PuzzleGuestBooks to custom-make a map of the Dominican, with a heart located where Punta Cana is. She was incredible to work with, and gave us lots of tips on how to make our guestbook look as good as it could possibly be. Each piece is handmade and was even more amazing when we got to see it in the flesh.

Unfortunately, our actual guestbook is away being framed so I'll have to update this photo once we get it back! Our friends and family signed each piece with some of the most hilarious and heartfelt words and sayings. We spent the morning after our wedding reading through each piece and laughing hysterically. I can't wait to see the final product and hang it up on our walls.

OUR FAVOURS

When it came to gifts for each of our guests, Sebastian and I wanted to keep it light-hearted and fun. Truth be told, in the beginning, we had no idea what to give our guests, and wasn't sure if they were even worth it. Back and forth we went, would anybody even care? Would anybody use it? Was it worth the time and money?

Then came The Hangover Kit. It was a perfect mix of our sense of humor, and a nice way to welcome our guests to the Dominican. Everyone received the following...

+ A welcome note + itinerary designed by Sebastian and myself. (Note that this gal, who is so far from a professional diy-er, went incredibly stamp happy the day these were made!)
+ One reusable cup (which were carried around throughout the rest of the trip! It was a lot nicer than having flimsy plastic cups poolside!)
+ A hangover kit bag, which I feel really completed the look. I found these ones on Etsy.
+ Advil (& More advil)
+ Pepto Bismol
+ Tums
+ Breathe Right Strips (Cracks me up everytime, but they do work wonders!)
+ Listerine Strips
+ Mint Tic-Tacs
+ Sunscreen

Everyone ended up loving the bags, and kept telling us how much they used it throughout the week! :)

THE VIDEO
And now, here's our wedding video! I hope you enjoy! (For better viewing, head to YouTube and increase the quality:)


Thank you so much for reading along and sharing your thoughts on our big day! I loved every minute of sharing it with you! xx

For more wedding-related goodness, pop on over here to read Allie + Sebastian Get Married! (Part One), The Ceremony (Part 2), and The Reception (Part 3)

twitter - instagram - pinterest - bloglovin' - facebook - email

Allie + Sebastian Get Married! The Reception (Part 3)

The reception can only be described as an absolute whirlwind. Following the ceremony is truly when the good times started to roll - we all mingled on the Beach Terrace Restaurant, munching on hors d'oeuvres and sipping on drinks as we celebrated and killed some time before dinner.

With our ceremony scheduled at 2pm, the reception would not kick-off until 6:30 that evening. During the planning process, I was a little nervous having such a big time gap between events, but the timing could not have been better. Our guests had time to jump in the pool and cool off, and freshen up before the festivities really began, and we were able to wait out the daytime heat, and have our photos taken later on in the day.

The reception area was romantic, and intimate, located off the main path, surrounded by palm trees, and the pool. The location could not have been more perfect, unlike the larger reception area which was a larger, open area where fellow-vacationers could easily walk by, this was tucked away, and felt like you had your own private room, under the sky.

DINNER + SPEECHES

 

Once it was time for Sebastian and I to make our entrance, we had this hilarious moment where our wedding coordinator asked if we wanted to be announced. It wasn't even something I had thought about! We hadn't picked music or anything, we just laughed and said "sure!" and then they hit the music and we danced down the pathway to lots of cheering and clapping, officially as husband and wife. After the high-fives, we made our way to our spots at the head table, and it was straight to dinner.

 

Part way through enjoying the meal, it was time to keep it going with speeches. This is the part where the wave of emotions really hits you, because honestly, by the end, ev-er-y-one was in tears at one point or another. There were many moments of out-right laughter, happy tears, and pure joy that just makes your heart grow exponentially in size.

 

The maid-of-honour and best man speeches were awesome! Sebastian's brother, Matt, had a killer of a first line, "So guys... how about that ride in?" and we all burst out laughing and seriously did not stop until his speech was over. Gold. My maid-of-honour, Julie's speech had me holding back some serious tears as she said the most beautiful things... to this day, as I watch her speech back, I get that little tingle and have to tell myself to hold it together.

 

A couple of our friends said a little something as well, which were completely unexpected and totally heart-warming. Our friend Valeriy had me in tears during the ceremony and during his speech. Hello, emotions! There you are. (I had been doing so well all day!) We were both so incredibly touched by his words, as was everyone there, as he spoke about friends being our chosen family. Funnily enough, my bridesmaid Sarah wasn't going to say a speech, and then in the moment, she proclaimed, "I HAVE to say something! I can't just sit here!" Up she went and knocked it out of the freaking park.

 

One of the most incredible moments for me was hearing my Dad's, and Sebastian's parents speeches. It's an amazing feeling bringing our two families closer together, but even more incredible when it just works.

 

Time and time again, I've said to Sebastian that I feel like I love him even more every time we spend time with my family. There's just something about seeing how both of my parents accept him like he's their own, when my brother starts up a sweet bromance, and when my sister-in-law gets him more than I do sometimes. (You know, those Eastern Europeans gotta stick together;)

 

And how I've always felt walking into Sebastian's home. Loved and accepted. Part of the family from day one. It's something that I will be eternally grateful for. These speeches were all about expressing that love, and everyone there that day was seriously feelin' it. The positivity, excitement, love kept on flowing and filled the air. It poured out in bucket loads, I tell you!  

 

Being able to experience this time in our lives with the people we truly love the most had me in awe. I know it may sound cliche, but it's so true: it was magic.

 

DANCING + PARTYING

 

Once the speeches were over, it was time for the first dances and starting off the party right! We went a little against the grain on tradition and re-arranged the order of the dances with Sebastian and his Mom kicking it off with El Divo's I believe in you. A beautiful arrangement she chose for the two of them. (Those pictures say it all, don't they?)

 

My Dad picked our song, Louie Armstrong's What a Wonderful World. I honestly think I laughed throughout the entire dance as he got into character with the song, led me all around the dance floor, and I so gracefully stepped on his toes.

 

For our first dance, we chose Adele's Lovesong. Once the song started playing and we started dancing, it was perfection. The world fell away for that moment in time and it was just him and I.

 

Once our song slowly faded, we knew we wanted to pick up the pace - quickly. Everyone was forced (haha!) to the dance floor, and Hall & Oates You Make My Dreams Come True seriously brought it into high gear. There was no turning back.

 

The dance floor was packed all night long, the drinks and shots flowed endlessly, and we had a cigar roller on standby to hand roll cigars for all of our guests. Per-fect-ion. The party was more wild than I could have ever pictured in my mind - by the end of the night, shirts were unbuttoned (or off entirely), my dress was ripped, dirty, and both Sebastian and myself were covered in cake. Let's just say everyone's calves and heads were hurting the next day.

 

Thank you to everyone who made this day so special - our family, friends, you reading this right now - who gave their unconditional love, support, help, and advice. Without you guys, this day would not have been what it was. One giant party. Full of love, hugs, kisses, fist bumps, laughter, cheersing, booty shaking, wicked tunes, singing in unison, hands-in-the-air-give-it-all-you've-got dance moves, and more. Incredible. Unforgettable. The best damn party ever. We came. We conquered.

And now... the end of the reception... a photo that probably should be kept neatly tucked away in my computer archives, but I just can't resist because... well, c'mon. Can you blame me? Epic.

Stay tuned for more on the details of the day -  everything from stationary to favors, and the extended cut of our wedding video. So excited to share all of this with you!! xx

twitter - instagram - pinterest - bloglovin' - facebook - email