How To Navigate Change With Ease

Do you feel like you're on the cusp of change? Like, there's a shift in energy swirling in the air and there you are, smack in the middle? Yeah, I'm feelin' it too.

I can quite put my finger on it, but it's as if I'm standing on the edge of a cliff side, waiting for the sign to jump off. It's this awkward space of the unknown, wondering what's to come and practising presence, being in this moment, fully.

If you're anything like me, that type of feeling - the wondering, the waiting, the unknown - gives you ants in your pants, sending you on a hunt for answers as impatience bubbles up to the surface, your mind unsettled and racing. Focusing on the task at hand? Distraction-city. Drifting to sleep at night? Damn near impossible.

Uncertainty and the unknown are a given when it comes to these periods of change and transformation, but there's one thing I do know: we have a choice in how we show up in the world. The in-between doesn't have to be full of stress and struggle, we can learn to approach change from a space of ease and grace.

GET GROUNDED

When our focus is entirely outside of us, relying on the external world, and replaying all the what-ifs in our minds, we get knocked off our feet in a hurry. When we become grounded, connected and present to our internal world, we take our power back, and can use that beautiful energy for unwavering support.

Inhale.
Exhale.

Take your attention off of what's happening around you, and create a solid foundation that nourishes and supports you. Set aside time for practices that allow you to slow down and awaken awareness and presence. When we create a calm internal world, we become less reactive and enter into a space of flow, creating shifts in the world around you.

TRUST, WHOLE-HEARTEDLY

Without a doubt, the best thing we can do is go with flow. As they say, resistance is futile. 

Throw your expectations out the window, let go of the desire to control, and quit the struggle, it will only send your stress-levels through the roof. Instead, enter into a space of acceptance and practise trust, knowing that it's out of your hands and will unfold all in divine timing.

We don't need to know why or how - we need to trust that it's a done deal. (Tweet this!)

BE OPEN TO GUIDANCE

Releasing the need to figure it all out opens a forum to dig a little deeper and discover the hidden lessons behind what's happening - how are you showing up? How can you learn? How can you grow?

Tune in and allow guidance to come to you. Quick tip? Grab your journal, setting the intention for guidance, and ask for supportive wisdom as you sit with a specific challenge, question, or situation and see what comes up.

Even if you don't feel like you're being guided, trust that you will be. You might find it through a conversation, a hunch that you need to take a certain class or pick up a book, or you might stumble across a blog that gives you exactly what you need.

BONUS: With the new moon tomorrow, it's an ideal time to light a candle, break out your journal, and scribble down your intentions to set your heartfelt desires into motion by launching them into manifestation-mode! 

What changes are you moving through at the moment and what practices will you be putting into place that will nourish and support you? Shoot me a line in the comments, I'd love to hear all about it! x 

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5 Quick Tips for Dealing with Negative People

We all know those kinds of people, wrapped up in drama and negativity, complaining endlessly, consumed by gossip. The Negative Nancys of the world who devote their time to feeding their cynicism and doubting the intentions of everyone around them.

If you've ever been in the presence of this kind of negativity, then you know it's not a pleasant experience. It can take you from the top of the world to crashing down in the throes of your own negativity, draining you of all energy, leaving you with a bad taste in your mouth.

Not too long ago, I experienced this type of feeling first-hand, after meeting up with a friend for dinner where the conversation quickly switched from catching up to an endless string of complaints, and I became completely absorbed by her negativity. I left the restaurant feeling drained and exhausted, and slightly confused on how I could allow her to bring me down and affect me like that.

So - what type of action can you take?

DROP THE JUDGMENTS

When I first started diving into my own personal-growth journey, it felt like my eyes had been opened to an entirely new world. The thoughts that were running through my mind, my entire way of being was transforming, and it felt incredibly liberating. You know the feeling when you discover something so freaking awesome and you just want to shout it from the rooftops?

Then you come face-to-face with another person, who is wrapped up in their own story or crippled with negativity and you kind of... want to shake them and shout, "Life doesn't have to be so hard! You're doing it wrong!"

Simply put? We all have our own struggles, stories, and heartbreak, and we will never (ever, ever) know exactly what somebody else is going through. We are all trudging down our own path, the lessons unfolding in front of us uniquely as we need them.

You may think you're more spiritually evolved or that they are a disastrous mess, but that is only your projection of them, and it's not the truth.

You are not better than or superior to anyone.

Judge less, love more. (Tweet this!)

MEET THEM WHERE THEY ARE

It might be tempting to pull-out all your problem-solving tricks when somebody comes to you with their issues and complaints. We'll brainstorm like crazy, just wanting to make somebody feel better. We'll pump out our best pick-me-up's, dish out a hearty dish of positivity, and pour our energy into brightening their day.

I'm going to suggest something a little different: Instead of resisting their negativity, allow it to flow freely.

We can spend all of our time trying to 'block' their negative energy from entering our psyche, but what happens when we just let it be? When we create a loving container for a good ol' rant session?

When we meet them where they are and put ourselves in their shoes, we choose to love a little deeper:

"I can't imagine having to deal with that, that must be really hard for you."

"I can see how difficult your life must be right now."

When we enter that space with them, reinforcing and becoming a mirror of their negativity, they can release that energy and move past their negativity.

Release > Suppression.

OWN YOUR ENERGY

Have you ever heard of the term "energy vampires"? It's, essentially, negative people who "suck" the energy from you, draining and depleting you.

As Kate of Your Courageous Life puts it, "They don't exist. That’s just a way to put blame on something external–that thing, out there, over there…that’s the cause. Not me. Not my choices."

(Read Kate's spot-on article on how energy vampires are bullshit here.)

Nobody can make you feel a certain way without your permission first.

Examine the ways where you're giving your power away.

Own your energy.

SHINE THE SPOTLIGHT ON YOU

Every moment that's presented before us is an opportunity for growth. To shift your perspective. See things in a different light. Stretch our hearts open a little wider.

Instead of becoming reactive, ask, "What can I learn from this person?"

"The qualities I see in them, where do I see them in myself?"

Expand your capacity for love and compassion. 

FLEX YOUR 'FREE-WILL' MUSCLE

We all have a choice.

We choose who we spend our time with.
We choose the lens that we view life through.
We can choose to judge, complain, and blame.
We can choose to step inside someone else's shoes.
We can choose compassion, empathy, and love.
We can choose to hang on or we can choose to let go.
We can choose to become present, learn, and grow.

When we know it's all a choice, we enter a space where we're free to make different choices. (Tweet this!)

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: Have you ever dealt with someone like this? How do you handle negative people and situations? Hop on over to the comments - I can't wait to hear how this resonated with you and listen to your point of view.

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My Writing Process

Blogging. It's a funny thing, don't you think? A funny, beautiful, ever-evolving thing.

I realized that I've never shared my experience with blogging or how it all came to life, and to be honest, it's been a huge part of my own journey of self-discovery. So when Erika asked me to participate in The Writing Process blog tour, I was pretty stoked about the idea of peeling back the curtains and sharing a little of what goes on behind the scenes.

Three years ago, I was sitting in a cubicle working a job that made me feel depleted, unfulfilled, and flat-out bored. Countless minutes and hours were spent staring at the clock waiting for time to pass, and it seemed like every waking moment the same thought would whirl around in my mind, "There has to be something more than this."

My creative spirit was lying dormant and I was looking for a way to express myself, to just do anything that made me feel like me.

I didn't have a plan of action, I just knew I had this love of writing that I'd been neglecting, and so, a blog was born.

Since that time, what you see now doesn't at all resemble what this space once was. In the beginning, I wrote for the sake of writing, wrote about topics I didn't care about, posted for the sake of 'getting something out there', I've been sucked into the world of blogging do's and don'ts, subjected myself to major blog-guilt, and I rarely (if ever) knew what I was doing. I've changed the name of this blog three times, redesigned the look on more than a few occasions, deleted countless posts, and decided to create on my own terms.

In the three years that I've been coming back to this space, I've quite literally found myself in the process. I shifted my focus from sticking to rules, trying to get as much traffic as possible, and kicking myself because I didn't have thousands of followers to making my own rules, creating quality content that feels damn good to write, and being extremely grateful for every single person that I have had the honour of connecting with through this space.

It's easy to get sucked into the world of comparison, focusing on the numbers game, and wishing, hoping, striving, and pushing for results. It's easy to fall in line, and despite your best intentions, wind up going in a direction that doesn't entirely suit who you are, and before you know it, your blog doesn't feel like your blog at all, and you take a step back and realize you'd rather burn everything you've ever written.

What I've come to realize is that there are no mistakes, it's all part of the evolution of our spirits. (Tweet this!)

If you want to take the flame to your archives, redesign your entire look and feel, you can, because the only rules are the ones you choose to go by.

These days, those rules are a lot more light-hearted for me.

It's about sitting down to a blank screen or page, and asking, "What wants to be written?"

It's following the direction of my energy, and allowing myself to be moved by the ebbs and flows of life. Never forcing, never pushing. Inviting in more space and ease. Always trusting that the words will come when they're ready.

It's shifting the perspective of what connection means to me and instead of thinking about Google Analytics, my reach, and number of followers, thinking, "How can I connect deeper to my creativity?" Leading with my intuition, always.

It's redefining what success means to me with these questions: How can I bring joy? How can I provide value? How can I be more generous?

Leading with my heart, always.

What are you working on right now? 

With a grateful heart, I'm completely overjoyed to say that over the past couple of months, I've been dipping my toes into the world of coaching, and have had the amazing opportunity to coach some incredible woman, who continue to inspire me daily. Connecting on a deep, soul level and diving into this work is something I'm beyond passionate about, and I can't wait to witness how this journey will continue to unfold.

I'm also incredibly excited to announce that I'm working on an e-book! In the coming days, I'll be hiding away in my creative cave and letting this idea of mine come to life. I can't wait for the day when I can share it with you. Keep your eyes on this space!

How does your work differ from others of its genre?

It's written by yours truly!

I believe that there is no such thing as competition, that there's room for all of us. We all have a unique voice and every single one of us has a story to tell... we just have to be courageous enough to do it. It's not always easy, but there's one thing I know for sure: If you show up authentically and embrace who you are (shaky boots and all), you will move mountains.

When I look outside of myself and start to compare, I diminish my own worth. When I live by the mantra "Just do you" - I allow myself to expand, learn, and grow. I'm filled with curiosity and wonder. Life flows.

It's much more interesting that way.

Why do you write what you do?

What a question!

I write to discover. I write simply to see the words spill out of my heart and onto the page. I write to make sense of the thoughts that are bouncing around in my mind. I write to make sense of it all. I write to connect with myself on a deeper level.

What I write about sends shivers down my spine. It's opened up my heart in ways I never thought were possible, and continues to do so.

When I sit down and ask, "What wants to be written?" I listen - because it pushes me, challenges me, gets me outside of the box, and ignites this sense of curiosity that makes me never want to stop exploring and discovering. I believe that we are so much more than what's on the surface and when we begin to dig deep beneath those superficial levels, we are met with the truth of who we are.

And that's a beautiful thing.

I write what I do because it moves me - because I'm called to.

How does your writing process work?

I've spoken briefly about the kind of energy I bring into my writing - and when I start to feel like I'm forcing it, pushing to get it done, or feeling guilty, I take that as a clear sign that I need to step away. Get outside, flip upside down into a handstand, crank up the music and dance it out.

When it comes to actually "getting shit done", normally that means setting aside definite "do not disturb" time, awesome music playing in the background (anything from meditative tracks to chill indie tunes to make you wanna get up and dance kinda music), no distractions from social media, and patience. It means getting past the blank screen staring back at me and just writing that first sentence, even if it's total rubbish.

One of my core desired feelings is freedom, so more often than not, I resist structure and perfectly laid out plans. I'm more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants type of girl.

It might mean candlelight flickering in the corner of my eye, grabbing a last-minute crystal just because (rose quartz, flourite, and citrine are go-to's), listening to the bird's chirping in the background, getting my hands on the closest computer/ notebook and just going for it, or a couple of hops on my trampoline in-between paragraphs. Chilling on the couch in the living room, laying in bed, sitting at my desk, or outside on the patio. Whatever feels right.

Thank you so much for being here - I really hope you enjoyed digging into this one as much as I loved writing it! And another big high five to Erika for passing over the baton :) 

YOUR TURN: Why do you do what you do? All the juicy details - spill it! 

Image via cassoday harder

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Riding the Waves of Emotion

The grand human experience, with its winding roads, hills and valleys. The lightness and warmth from the glowing sun, and the darkness that sweeps overhead at dusk. The richness of joy that pours from our heart, the spark of inspiration that pulses through our veins, and the depth of sadness that can swallow us whole. The all encompassing raw, human emotion.

Love, joy, laughter, expansion, passion, ecstasy.

Sadness, grief, pain, sorrow, fear.

These emotions are engrained into our DNA, etched into our cells, and arise naturally in our bodies.

Yet, somehow, we stick labels on them - good and bad. Right and wrong.

The pursuit of happiness continues and along with it, the dismissal of any emotion that isn't aligned with what we've defined as good. We sweep our emotions under the rug, cover them up with positive affirmations, and deny our right to feel what comes most natural to us. We've become downright uncomfortable when it means listening to our bodies and feeling how we feel.

During my retreat, I participated in breathwork sessions that can most easily be described as a form of meditation that were around three hours in length. In a session, your inner wisdom brings you unique experiences that can include a combination of aspects of your personal history, transpersonal interconnections, and a connection to the greater spiritual reality. Think of like an inner journey into your psyche.

As I laid down on my mat - with the tremble of fear rising from the pit of my belly - I surrendered, bringing my presence to that moment, opening up to whatever was about to arise, embracing the unknown.

It was as if I was floating along the surface of the ocean, arms spread wide open. The sun beating down on my face, warming my whole body, and complete darkness beneath me. I felt the sweetness of fresh air fill my lungs, and a gentle let go with every exhale. I let go of expectations, I let go of doing, I let go of fear and trusted that I was safe.

Much like the ocean waves, emotion began rising and falling in my body.

Bliss tingled its way through the crown of my head and down to my toes. I revelled in it. I became aware that I didn't want that feeling of peace to fade away.

But, like everything in this world, it passed.

Sorrow swept over my body and took hold. My body ached from pain. Tears ran down my face.

But, I revelled that too.

I detached myself from the labels and accepted what was and allowed myself to fully feel every emotion.

I felt deeper, more intensely, and allowed the emotion to be released.

Suppressing the feelings we don't want to feel creates dis-ease in the body and wreaks havoc on our cells, as they hide away inside of us, waiting to bubble up to the surface. When we suppress our emotions, we do more harm than good.

I discovered that it's not about good or bad, pain or pleasure, comfort or the unknown, it all leads to wholeness. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Not happiness, but wholeness. Knowing that deep down, every experience is here to teach us what we need to know most. That the full embodiment of the human experience serves a greater, divine purpose. By picking and choosing the bits we like most and ignoring the rest, we're doing a disservice to the progression of our soul. We must live through all of it, open-hearted.

The darkness is just as transformative as the light. (Tweet this!)

Waves that form out of nowhere can rock us off our feet - but in those moments, we can choose to open our hearts wider, to feel more intensely, and know ourselves deeper. We can learn, grow, expand, and come back to the wholeness that is who we are.

When we change the lens through which we view life, we see the beauty in all of it. There is no good or bad, there's only what is.

Surrender, open your heart, ride the wave.

How 'bout it? Let's get comfortable with emotion and ditch the idea that we need to label emotion as being good, bad, or otherwise - it's all energy - feel it and allow it to pass through you.

I'd love to hear from you - what unwanted emotion is anchoring into you? How do you feel about bringing it to the surface, riding it out, then letting it float on by? Remember, this too shall pass...

Image via A Beach Cottage

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Five (Super Actionable) Ways To Be Gentle with Yourself

In all transparency, since coming home after spending a week away in retreat, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to put it into words. Thoughts whizzing around in my head on how I can provide value to you by sharing my own experiences. The week was a biggie. (As far as understatements go, that just may be the very definition.)

There's so much to share, but the truth is that I'm still processing it all - and diving back into reality hasn't been the easiest feat for me. I feel emotionally drained, my mind has wandered off to an undisclosed location, and my feet are just barely touching the ground.

Right now, I need to walk my talk. How can I trudge forward when everything in my body is telling me to slow down? To listen to my body? To pay attention to the cues that life is sending my way? If the situation were reversed, and you were in front of me, I'd tell you to slow down. That sometimes the most beneficial thing to do is to do nothing at all. Be gentle. Be compassionate. One small step at a time.

I've felt these hints of guilt come up, surrounding the blog and how less-than-present I've been this week, but I know that deep down, I need to honour myself so that I can show up fully for you.

Today, I'm diggin' up the archives, maybe you missed this one, or maybe you need the reminder, like me.

Remember: follow the rhythms of your body, the voice of your inner guide, and be gentle with yourself. Much love xo

***

Do you believe you're the creator of your days? The architect of All Things? That ultimately, you choose the way you feel? You've got dreams. Big ones. Goals. Bucket Lists. Resolutions. Intentions. To-do lists. Watch out world, things are happenin'.

Uh- oh, road block.

Doubt starts to trickle in, and that voice in the back of your head pipes up, playing the same old stories. Can I really do this? What if I fail? What's the point? I mean, who am I kidding, really? Those limiting stories are now running wild in your mind, giving you a play-by-play of how it's all going to play out. Yep, I knew it. Never gonna work. I'll never get the dream gig/ meet the right man/ hit those targets/ experience true joy.

The ultimate self-sabotage: doubt, depleting inner-criticism, resistance. We're all faced with the same issues, no matter what the big dream is. Our biggest challenge is getting out of our own way, allowing us to truly thrive. But how? What's the starting point?

It's the one thing that has completely revolutionized the way I approach each day and how I live my life. More than anything else out there, this has had the most impact: being gentle with myself.

Let's dive in a little further, shall we? (You know I love digging deeper:)

SPEAK WITH LOVE

Get to know your inner-critic, and separate yourself from it. Eradicating negative thoughts forever isn't realistic, but arming yourself with the right tools to handle them is possible.

Your inner critic is fear. It's role is to play small and keep you right smack in the middle of your comfort zone. It's not you. The criticism and backtalk isn't true, so don't believe it. One way I separate myself from this voice, is something I learned from my beautiful friend Natalia: name your fear.

Give your inner critic a name that resonates. The key is to try to pick something loving, rather than something negative, like "stupid", "monster", or "evil bitch", which really just defeats the purpose :) Give it a persona, is it male/ female? What's her personality like? What is she really afraid of? How does she react when something scary pops up? I've named my fear "Little One". Although she's trying to protect me (from failing, embarrassment, etc.), she likes to keep me small.

Once you separate yourself from your Fear, it'll become easier to stop identifying with and buying into those limiting stories. The next time you start to run that play-by-play of your sure-to-be next biggest failure, catch yourself, and simply say, "Oh, that's just Fear talking. It's okay, I got this."

Key point: don't get down on yourself for thinking negativity, simply charge ahead with your two greatest tools: acceptance and love. 

FEEL YOUR FEELINGS

We all have our off-days, don't ignore them. Instead of charging through and ignoring your feelings, take it as a sign to treat yourself to some extra self-care. Give yourself a break, read a book, play some relaxing tunes, get outside, hit up a yoga class, disconnect, indulge in a bubble bath - complete with music, candles, epsom salts, the whole lot. Whatever lights you up, makes you happy, feeling rejuvenated... do that.

"Affirmations are like screaming that you’re okay in order to overcome this whisper that you’re not. That’s a big contrast to actually uncovering the whisper, realizing that it’s a passing memory, and moving closer to all those fears and all those edgy feelings that maybe you’re not okay. Well, no big deal. None of us is okay and all of us are fine. It’s not just one way. We are walking, talking paradoxes." | Pema Chödrön

SMALL STEPS TURN INTO QUANTUM LEAPS

Instead of wanting to be the Master of All The Things, scale it back. Breaking goals down into small, actionable steps will actually make everything feel a lot less overwhelming. What one thing can you do each day to get you closer to where you want to be? Set mini-milestones to hit. Instead of "I need to lose X amount of weight." shift to "I will work out 3 times this week to do something awesome for my body, ramp up my energy, and feel damn good about myself."

Sounds way less intimidating, doesn't it? While we're on the subject, let me just throw this in here: ditch forcing it. If it doesn't feel good, stop doing it.

EMBRACE THE MOMENT

Also see: Quit trying to control everything. There's only so much planning/ mapping/ brainstorming you can do. You do not need to prove, strive, or improve. You have everything that you need. Each time you tell yourself, "I will only be happy once X happens", you close the door on the possibility of the unexpected. You close the door on other ways that you could be filled with joy.

Keeping your head in the future robs you from experiencing the happiness in this moment - from living fully, being present - wherever you are, whoever you're with, and with whatever you have.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Practising gratitude invites in more gratitude. More beauty. More simplicity. It brings you back into the moment and allows you to appreciate what's around you. Your perspective shifts, your world expands.

For starters, give this a go: Write down 1-5 things each day that you're truly grateful for. Bonus points: Express your gratitude to the people around you. See how you feel. (Chances are: insanely better.)

“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” | Elizabeth Gilbert

Over to you, maestro: What's the biggest thing you've taken away from this post? I'd absolutely LOVE to hear your thoughts, so please, let's move this chat over to the comments x

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The Curse of Comparison

This was a piece I wrote that originally appeared on All Things E and I would love to share it with you, in case you missed it...

In the throes of comparison, the weight of the world rests heavily on your shoulders. It's depleting. Exhausting. Draining every bit of energy from your body. You desperately reach out hoping to clutch onto one small grain of inspiration that will shift you back on track. You're searching for the answers, sizing up the competition, and your focus is everywhere but on you. You fill your lungs, taking a deep, skeptical inhale. You're on shaky ground and struggling to keep up in someone else's path.

There's a voice on repeat in your mind and it's saying, "I'm not good enough.", "I should be fitter/ healthier/ better/ happier/ more committed.", "I'll never be as good as ___________." and even a doubtful, "No way, I could never do that."

We've all caught comparisonitis one time or another. It barges through in a fury and slaps us upside the head, sending us into a world of scarcity and lack. It can last for days, often leaving us full of doubt, feeling lost, alone, not enough, and ultimately, guilty for feeling that way in the first place.

Now, tell me, what would it feel like not to go down the slippery slope of comparison? What would it feel like to dissolve jealousy in an instant? What would it feel like to trust yourself? Let's get to it.

PAUSE + REFLECT
You're scrolling through Instagram (or Facebook/ a blog/ business/ relationship), past all the 'perfect' bodies, epic yoga moves, drool-worthy recipes, motivational pick-me-ups, and your mind starts chattering. They've figured it out, and you haven't. In an instant, you're sucked in.

Newsflash: Your mind is not your friend. Get still (meditation, a few deep breaths, or catching some fresh air should do it) and create a sense of awareness over what's happening and take a big step back: What's really going on here? What caused this onslaught of anxiety/ hopelessness/ doubt?

REFRAME YOUR PERSPECTIVE
Beneath the surface, there's an actual human you're looking at. With their own set of fears and insecurities who's faced their own hardships/ struggles/ failures and yes, who has felt the very same feelings that you're feeling. Even though it might feel like you're alone in this, we are all made of the same matter and energy, and everything you've felt, it's Universal.

We feel drawn to certain people because it's a reflection of what's possible for us. What we desire in certain people or situations is already within us. We see our future success in theirs and we're merely stepping up to the same energy they're giving off. Ask yourself, what did this person do to get to where they are? What can I learn from them? (Click to tweet!)

Release the notion of competition and shift the focus back on you. What's your mission? What lights you up?

Declare it here and now, "I'm willing and ready."

CELEBRATE + TRUST
You are enough. You have enough. There is enough time in the world and nothing is quite as urgent as you believe it to be. You will get there, you just have to keep going. Your very DNA, every fibre and cell in your body is unique to you, and you alone. Your only task in this world is to be you. What a privilege it is, to be you. To live your truth. To follow your bliss. To radiate your special brand of magic.

Press the brakes for a moment and celebrate how far you've come (because we don't do that enough).

Above all else, trust. Trust in the process of divine timing and know that your dreams and desires have already been met, ten-fold. Trust that it's a done deal. (Literally, envision it. Feel it in your bones.)

Whenever you mind takes over, close your eyes, drop back into your body, and come back to this feeling.

It's a done deal, all you have to do is shine your light.

Let's declare it today: I choose to let go of (comparing my journey to someone else's/ feeling like I don't measure up/ smothering my joy by comparing my success to _________) and by doing so, I honour myself and my unique gifts (so I can rock on with my bad self). 

Get as specific as you'd like about what you're ready to let go of and the action steps you're going to follow up with - think, contacting someone who seems 'out of reach', deleting social media apps from your phone, or choosing gratitude for what you have rather than zoning in on someone's 'highlight reel'. Get creative!

Can't wait to read your insights x

Image: All Things E

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A Lesson On Pain & Joy

Looks like 'joy' might be the theme 'round here this week! We touched on some ways to cultivate joy and make it a daily priority, and I wanted to hone in on one thing: giving yourself permission to feel joy. I'm taking a page out of my own book and sharing a lesson I've recently learned...

The back story: years ago, I suffered from a pulmonary embolism - multiple blood clots had formed in both of my lungs. The pain was crippling and it was weeks before doctors figured it out. My life could have easily been taken away, and in many ways, it’s a miracle that it wasn't.

Since then, the pain would pop up every now and again. At times, landing me back in the emerg, tears streaming down my face, searching for answers. Test after test after test, there wasn’t any. The doctors hadn’t a clue as to why I was in such great pain. With time, I learned to accept that this unexplainable pain was a fact of my life now. These ‘episodes’ were random - at times the pain would happen frequently, other times I’d go months without feeling a thing.

Over the past few weeks, this pain has been coming up again for me. A sharp stab in my chest, a dull ache in my heart. There’s been moments when I’d grab my chest, wincing in pain or hours, feeling my heart tighten and contract.

Modern medicine only brought up more questions than answers (not to mention a bout of frustration) and I booked a session with a kinesologist, who taught me a tapping technique that would ease the pain - and it worked. Each time the pain would come up, I’d tap and the pain would disappear.

I'd tap-tap-tap, and I became acutely aware of how often I would feel this way. Tapping wasn’t the be-all-end-all solution that would ‘cure’ me indefinitely - it was a band-aid. Instead of allowing frustration or fear to wash over me, curiosity pulled me closer.

I heard a question rise up from my belly: What if I started looking at my pain in a different light? 

You know when people talk about lightbulb moments? The big A-HA realization? This one was of them.

What if, instead of accepting pain as a fact of life, I explored what it might mean? What if it’s not random? What if my body is actually trying to tell me something? Most of all: what if this is a sign that my body is blocking off the flow of positive energy in my life? What could it be preventing? What am I not opening myself up to?

I noticed that whenever the pain arose, my energy shifted with it.

I’d grab my chest, trying to remember to breathe deeply and think, “What is wrong with me? Why is this happening to me?” I was assuming the victim role. Mornings when I’d wake up feeling energized and inspired, and out of nowhere, the tug at my chest. Immediately, thoughts would flash through my mind, “Something is wrong here. I can’t focus like this, I should probably just take it easy and rest.” I allowing this feeling to take control and prevent me from diving into my own creativity.

Until, one day, I heard a voice inside me that said, “Something else is going on here.”

I meditated on it. What came up, clear as day, was that it wasn’t a sign to stop, it was a sign to keep going. That feeling in my heart just pain because of some unfortunate event from my past, it was resistance.

My body was resisting the expansion of joy.

My body was resisting exploring creativity.

My body was resisting deepening the connection with myself.

It had reached it’s limit.

Coming face to face with resistance might not feel like physical pain, but emotional, as we manifest feelings of doubt, worry, anxiety, and even depression.

The moments when you're experiencing unbridled joy and you escape the moment, pondering all the different ways it could be better. When we distinguish our joy. When we dampen our successes. When we compare ourselves to others. Future trip. Doubt. Shrink. Self-sabotage.

Instead, shine a light on your shadow side...

What am I resisting right now? What's the fear behind my resistance? What story am I playing out?

How can I crack my heart riiight open? How can I expand? How can I step beyond my limits? How can I break the rules and push the envelope? 

Call yourself out. Look through a different lens. Dare to rebel. Bust down barriers and smash through fear.

What happens next? You begin to expand your capacity for love and joy. Witness your own brilliance. You become a beacon of light - and radiate that energy back out into the world.

+++

What do you think? Did this resonate with you? I'd love for you to share your own experiences + insight and take this conversation deeper in the comments x

Image via Shells on the beach, edited by me.

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Is Joy a Daily Priority? 6 Tips for Cultivating Joy Today

It's easy to get caught up in the seriousness of life, with our ever-growing to-do lists, rooms to clean, dishes to wash, clothes to fold, meals to make, blog posts to write - on top of the work that we do, keeping up with our social calendars, being present in our relationships, and trying to maintain our sanity. Squeeze in your workouts, meditations, self-care practices, and 5236238693 other tasks and well, life's lookin' pretty f-u-l-l. 

Phew. I'm already out of the breath.

Tell me, do you make joy a daily priority?

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO FEEL JOY
Just how happy do you want to be? How much joy do you want to feel?

Often, it's in those moments where we're experiencing sheer joy and happiness when doubt and worry sneak their way into our thoughts. Everything is clicking, we're in the flow, and we think, "This is too good to be true," and out of nowhere, "What if this were taken away from me?"

Visions of worst case scenarios dance in our heads, and we play them out, over and over again, as if to say, "Life, you are not going to pull a fast one on me. I'm going to be prepared for whatever comes my way."

In reality, we've reached the edge of what we've (subconsciously) decided as the limit of how much joy we're willing to experience and we've set up roadblocks on just how good we will feel. As Gay Hendricks says, you've hit your upper limit. So what are you going to do to push through and get to the other side?

This next step really works:

EXPRESS GRATITUDE
Without a doubt, gratitude is the most transformational tool you can use, if practised intentionally. Whip out a gratitude journal, set an alarm on your phone reminding you to say 5 things you're grateful for, grab the pen and paper and write thank you notes.

In those moments where you've hit your resistance and start sabotaging your joy? Take it as a sign to turn back to gratitude, and repeat: thank you, thank you, thank you.

SWITCH YOUR STORY
How many times have you criticized yourself for making a mistake? Blamed yourself for something that was actually out of your control? Given yourself an internal smack-down? Decided you'll be happy when X happens, but only then? What about the moments when you've secretly judged someone else? Said something out loud that you wished you could take back?

What's the story you've been playing out in your mind? Comparison is a big one that comes up often. It's easy to look at somebody else and think, "That kind of success only happens to other people." or, "Sure, if I looked like that/ worked from home/ had that job/ didn't have kids/ had a bigger bank account/ were married, I could do that too. But I can't."

Maybe you've been putting conditions on your happiness. Once you achieve the goal, then you'll be free to chase your dreams. Once you take the course/ buy the program/ lose the weight/ get the guy/ quit the job, then you'll finally be happy.

Happiness is an inside job, it doesn't come from chasing anything in the external world.

Be brave enough to challenge your current belief systems. (Click to tweet!)

Adopt a curious mind. Ask questions: am I run by love or fear?

This Don Miguel Ruiz quote from The Four Agreements is the perfect guidepost:

“Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

PLAY, LAUGH, BE SILLY
Free your inner child.

Quick story, picture this: I was sitting in my favourite spot, typing away on my laptop, listening to the laughter of kids playing outside. As I glanced out the window, I saw kids running around, swinging on swings, climbing on the jungle gym. They were so full of joy it made my heart leap. I smiled to myself, admiring their sense of play and adventure.

In the next moment, I picked up my phone and clicked 'compose new tweet', attempting to formulate 140 characters about how joyful it felt to be there, writing in my favourite spot, sun shining, listening to kids laughing, and seeing them play.

I'm not quite sure what did it, but just typing that out seemed absurd. I deleted my words and typed this instead: "Writing + looking out the window to see kids swinging on swings, laughing up a storm... think I'll go join 'em for a bit."

I shut my laptop closed, went downstairs, turned to my husband and said, "Hey, wanna go play on the swing-set?" 

And my heart was full.

Often we ignore our inner child in the name of 'responsibility' and 'acting like an adult', but when we listen to our desire for playfulness, joy, and adventure, we connect more deeply to our own truth.

LET YOUR CREATIVE SPIRIT SHINE
There is no such thing as a creative and a non-creative person - we are all creative beings. Every single one of us. (Click to tweet!)

Yet - there are so many things (or, ahem, excuses) that stop us from being creative (myself included!). If you're a blogger, you certainly flex your creative muscle, creating content, styling photos, expressing yourself through the written word. The problem there is that sometimes that type of creation turns into another item on our to-do lists, and for some, another source of income.

When's the last time you wrote simply to scribble the words down on the page? The last time you prepared a gourmet meal for the sole purpose of savouring every bite? Grabbed a paint brush, canvas, and channelled your inner Picasso? Built something with your own hands? Knit a sweater? Got busy with your scrapbookin' self?

The point is, it doesn't have to be perfect and you certainly don't have to be good at it. Low vibe thoughts like, "Being creative just isn't my thing.", "I'll leave that up to the pros", and "I'm no good at that." don't fly around here.

The intention is to play, to get creative for the sake of being creative, and most of all, to have fun with it.

TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH
Walk to the edges of your comfort zone, and go for it - take a few steps further. Then another couple of steps, and just keep going. Push through resistance just to see what's on the other side. Regardless of whether or not you have all the answers or the possibility of failure.

Decide who you want to be. Do you want to be the person who wondered what was possible? Or do you want to be the person who tested the limits of possibility? Who - step by step, little by little - chased an extraordinary dream? The dream of living life to the absolute fullest?

Trust that you'll be supported along the way. (You will.)

And do it with joy in your heart.

Over to you, creative one! Head on over to the comments and share three things that your inner child is longing for - and what action steps you're going to take to answer the call. 

P.S. If you haven't already, read this: Three Things You Need to Let Go Of, Right Now.

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How To Have A Perfect Relationship

In my own life, I've faced some serious ups and downs when it comes to relationships - while I don't think I'm necessarily an expert in the realm of relationships, I've learnt a thing or two. Before getting down to the nitty gritty of what works and what doesn't, there is one key ingredient to having fulfilling, healthy relationships. Today, I'm spilling the big (not-so) secret.

But first, a story (and a rant.) The other day, I was scrolling through Pinterest, and we all know that I'm a complete sucker for quotes and I stumbled across this one:

"A relationship works best when both people

 believe they have gotten better than they deserve."

Excuse my French, but what in the actual fuck?

The low-down: When we place people on a pedestal above ourselves, we crush our spirit and diminish our self-worth. Believing that you've gotten better than what you deserve is really just another way of saying, "I'm not worthy of this kind of love." It sends a message that shouts, "I don't deserve to feel loved."

When we get to the core of it all, there it is, in glowing, neon lights that could spread across the whole sky: I'm not good enough.

That's just not good breeding ground for love. Trust. Growth. Deep connection. And I know that's not the kind of life you're here to live.

That type of inner-dialogue keeps us trapped in toxic relationships. It happened to me. I didn't believe I was worth more or that I deserved to be treated better. My self-worth was so depleted and it took me years of inner work to mend the relationship with myself.

So, how do you have a perfect relationship?

First, let's just debunk the 'perfect relationship' myth - it doesn't exist. 

At some point in our lives, we believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see depicted in movies, television, and novels. We feel that relationships need to fit our criteria of perfection and we need to find our prince that will sweep us off our feet, have our happily-ever-after, and it's just not realistic.

Would we really want it to be?

Let's step away from the moving target of 'perfection' and lean towards intimacy - real, connected, vulnerable intimacy. It can be messy, silly, and at times, scary. But it's real, pure love - and that should never try to fix into a box of what perfection 'should' look like - it needs space to roam, room to grow, and to be free from all limits so it can expand.

Before I get too far ahead of myself, let's just take a moment to reel it all back in.

Before all that, there's one key ingredient for relationship magic to happen... 

...and I want you to believe this to your very core: You are so much more than enough.

You are worthy of love. To be loved. To feel loved. There is no container that could ever hold the love you beam out to the world - or the love you will receive. You deserve the kind of love that makes your heart skip a beat. The kind of love that expands more than you ever thought was possible. Actually, that kind of love is your birthright. Claim it.

Treat yourself with care, respect, kindness, and extend the love that you give to others to yourself. Watch your capacity for love expand before your eyes knowing that true love can only exist when you love yourself first.

"Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” | Brené Brown

Let your heart expand, heal the relationship with yourself, and let yourself be seen. See the love you radiate multiply and manifest back into your life. Embrace (and accept) imperfection. Choose courage. Be all in. That's where the magic's at. (Click to tweet!)

Before you jet out, let's make space for some soulful contemplation. Feel free to whip out your journal, share in the comments, or mindfully think about your answers to these questions.

1. Where are you currently holding back? Is there anything in your life that you've been putting off or ignoring?

2. What can you do today to embrace vulnerability and practice courage? Resistance is going to pop up around this one, and I trust that you will have a clear answer and know what you need to do - we resist what is most important to our soul. 

Thank you, as always, for being here x

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When To Give Up On Your Dream

Have you ever given up on a dream? I have.

Expressing myself creatively has always been a passion of mine, but knowing how? For years, it was a struggle. Growing up, the weighty question of, 'what the hell do I want to do when I grow up?' plagued me - and actually felt like a two-tonne weight sitting right on my chest.

I scrambled. Changed my mind. Gave up. Settled. Then I started asking questions, I wanted to 'figure it all out.'

For as long as I could remember, having a camera in my hands and seeing the world through a (literal) lens felt right. And so I dreamt. I dreamt of living life as a photographer. I invested in a camera, lens, and courses. I spent hours upon hours playing around, snapping photos...

Then I gave up. And I was struck with guilt. Until I had this profound realization:

Sometimes, it's okay to give up on your dreams.

I know what you're thinking - doesn't that make me a failure? Doesn't that make me weak? Doesn't that mean I'm a quitter? Shouldn't I put my nose to the ground and just do what needs to be done? 

We've become overachievers, wearing 'busy' like a badge. We want to hit every ball out of the park, we want to do it all, do it perfectly, look good while we're doing it, and please everybody else at the same time. What would life look like if we made the transition from pleasing others, doing what we think we "should" do, to pleasing ourselves instead?

Ditch the dream when it doesn't feel right. Period. (Click to Tweet!)

At one point, every bone in your body was committed. Just thinking about living out that dream sparked passion and excitement. The thought of not making it happen just wasn't a possibility - this was it.

Then that little voice speaks up that says, "This doesn't feel right, this isn't what I want."

Often, we push through.

It's what we've been programmed to do. Giving up? No way. I've already committed, I've already spread the word, I'm accountable, I can't walk away now.

Or maybe you're living your dream, but it's just not meshing. Quit now? I couldn't. That would mean I'm a failure, and I'm NOT a failure. Besides, what would everyone think of me then? I can't admit defeat.

Why are you chasing a dream that you don't really want anyway?

Personally, I still love photography. I love being behind the camera, I love capturing life's little moments, and I still get lost in the work of my favourite photographers, captivated by their vision. It was the moments when I thought about launching a business and the long list of what that would entail, where I thought, "I just can't picture myself doing it." When I got really honest with myself, it wasn't what I really wanted. The truth was, at the time, I didn't know what I wanted. Not a clue.

When you let go of what you don't want, you make space for more of what you do.

We all want to live a life that's aligned with who we are - to be happy and live fully.

Commit to living that life - your life.
Stand up for what you really want.
Liberate yourself.
Say no more often.
Know that there will always be more.

And don't look back - the future is always brighter and more exciting than the past.

What are you doing in your life that doesn't light you up? Maybe take the time to step back and re-assess... what feels like an obligation? What are you doing out of habit or fear of the alternative? What can you cut back (or cut out completely)? Snip, snip, snip... let's make more space today, shall we?

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Self-Care: For The Soul

Today we're taking a deeper look into some of the rituals and practices that I've cultivated - which in many ways feels like I'm baring my soul a lot more than usual. Truth is, I've been procrastinating and putting writing this off for quite some time now, for a couple reasons...

... Deepening my spiritual practices has been a deeply personal journey for me. It's intimate. An exploration of the soul that very much feels like coming back home to myself. My core. My light. It's a sacred process that's very close to my heart - it is my heart. And it's one that I'll tweak, change, adjust, and deepen as I continue to evolve and grow. (That is to say - it's never-ending.)

... Cultivating ritual in your own life is a unique experience. These are just some of the ways that I turn inwards, connect, and ground myself - they might resonate with you and they might not. That's okay. We are all different, and this is merely a snapshot of my own experience, in hopes to shed some light and possibly inspire you to deepen the ways you connect to yourself.

... In many ways, I feel like I'm coming out of the 'woo-woo' closet! Sometimes certain aspects of spirituality are deemed as being air-fairy, out there, and dare I say a bit weird! While some of this may be outside of the realm of mainstream, I ask that you consider this: weird can feel really, really good.

CONNECTING ON A SOUL-LEVEL:

CREATE SOUL-LOVING RITUALS
Making the space for ritual is a beautiful way to tune in to your wise inner guide, ground yourself, and connect back to your truth. For me, it's a way to take time to turn inward, re-focus my intentions, and clear the clutter in my mind. Let's dive into some of these practices:

+ Set your intentions. At the beginning of the year, my guiding word was vibrant - but I often like to choose a word for each day, week, or month. As soon as I wake up, I consciously check in with myself: How do I feel right now? How do I want to feel? What do I need right now?

+ Keep a gratitude journal. When you're consciously taking stock of what you're grateful for, you radiate that energy, and it reflects back at you, ten-fold.

+ Create a sacred space. Whether I'm meditating, writing, or doing yoga, I like to surround myself with candles, crystals, incense, and anything else that I'm feeling drawn to. By doing this (and I have little areas all throughout the house, or I'll just carry certain items from room-to-room as I go!), it immediately sets the tone and promotes a sense of peace.

+ Seek Stillness. Whether I'm feeling overwhelmed/ frustrated/ lacking clarity or at peace/ filled with joy, meditation is my go-to for turning inward, simply to see what comes up. No expectation, no stress, just... remaining open. Sometimes that looks like sitting down for a longer medi sesh, other times it might mean turning the radio off in my car and practising deep breathing (while paying attention to my surroundings, of course!). It's amazing what even 5 minutes of meditation will do - refreshed, radiant, and centred all come to mind.

+ Ask for guidance. The more I dive into my spiritual practice, the more I feel connected to something bigger than myself. When I first picked up a deck of oracle cards, my interest was definitely peaked. I'll dive into the "how" below, but all I can say is: spot on guidance, every single time. (And ahem, mind blown.)

+ Honour yourself. The biggest hug you can give to your soul is listening to it. We all have an endless well-spring of wisdom within us, that will provide clear direction as long as we're open and connected to it. When we follow through on that, shifts happen. Life flows.

ESSENCES + OILS + REMEDIES

Calm & Clear Essence: For winding down, relaxing, and seeking peace. If I'm feelin' particularly scattered or know I have a huge list of things to do throughout the day, I'll grab this bottle o' goodness.

Lavender Essential Oil: My all-time favourite way to fall asleep! Just put 3-4 drops on your hands, rub 'em together, then rub your hands on your pillow. Not only will you fall asleep in 2 seconds flat - it's the most divine scent to fall asleep to. You can also add a few drops to a warm bath! Divine.

Rescue Remedy: For those anxious bunnies out there. After using this on my own wedding day, I'm also convinced it should be in every bride's purse.

CRYSTALS

Confession: I have a total love affair with crystals.

Yes, they're gorgeous - but there's also thousands of varieties, all with different properties, meanings, and intentions. They can also remind you of your own intentions and what you're seeking. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, let's say, you're battling with your inner-critic and you want to welcome a more loving perspective into your life. You might want to carry some rose quartz (the stone of the heart, directly relating to love, compassion, and peace) in your pocket, and give it a squeeze any time you find your critic pops up.

The crystals pictured are...

Citrine: for prosperity, abundance, joy, and manifestation of your visions.

Amethyst: for spirituality, meditation, creativity, and restful sleep.

Rose Quartz: opens the heart to give and receive love.

Flourite: for harmony, balance, meditation, and bringing order to chaos.

Black Tourmaline: for protection against negativity, radiation and external influences, promotes relaxation and sleep.

Clear Quartz: known as the 'master healer', magnifies energy/ intentions.

The best way to choose your crystal is to follow your intuition. How I go about it is by browsing around and seeing what catches my eye or what I'm drawn to, and I'll stick with that. Later on, when I'm reading up on the crystal I picked out, it always turns out to be exactly what I need in that moment. Simply trust that you'll be guided to what you need.

ORACLE CARDS
Woo-woo alert: Things are about to get interesting... 

I've fallen head over heels for Doreen Virtue's oracle cards - which are essentially a direct-line to connect to the archangels - powerful, wise, and loving guides who can motivate, uplift, heal, and inspire us.

How I approach these cards, is that often, I'll ask (after saying a little prayer): What do I need to know, right now?

I'll shuffle the cards, letting my intuition guide me, and stop when I feel compelled to. I'll either pull one or three cards, depending on how I'm feeling, and the guidance is always BANG on. True story: I've pulled cards and failed to listen to the message, only to continually pull the same card, over and over again. Yep, okay! Got the message, loud and clear!

This is simply another way to receive divine guidance, connect on a deeper level, and create ritual in our every day lives. Sometimes I'll pull a card first thing in the morning, post-meditation, or sometimes, I'll randomly feel pulled to ask a specific question, only to receive the answer I needed to hear.

Before snapping the above picture, I set the intention to send a message to you, whoever would be reading this, asking to send a message that you might need to hear, and this is what came up:

Divine Order
"Everything is how it needs to be right now.  Look past the illusion, and see underlying order."

"A win-win situation is brewing, one with solutions that are fair to everyone involved.  This requires you to have blind faith that Heaven is working behind the scenes to extract the highest good for all.  Ask me to buoy your faith if it wavers.  Use positive affirmations and prayers to keep your spirits high.  Above all, make sure that your conversations about this situation involve positive and optimistic words and phrases.  You're so powerful that your positive thoughts can speed the resolution along even quicker."

***
TELL ME: Do you have any rituals that you practice? Is there anything you'd like to learn more about? Just holler at me in the comments, soulful seeker! 

P.S. You may want to check out: SELF-CARE: FOR THE BODY | SELF-CARE: FOR THE MIND

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