Wednesday, May 28, 2014
The Curse of Comparison
This was a piece I wrote that originally appeared on All Things E and I would love to share it with you, in case you missed it...
In the throes of comparison, the weight of the world rests heavily on your shoulders. It's depleting. Exhausting. Draining every bit of energy from your body. You desperately reach out hoping to clutch onto one small grain of inspiration that will shift you back on track. You're searching for the answers, sizing up the competition, and your focus is everywhere but on you. You fill your lungs, taking a deep, skeptical inhale. You're on shaky ground and struggling to keep up in someone else's path.
There's a voice on repeat in your mind and it's saying, "I'm not good enough.", "I should be fitter/ healthier/ better/ happier/ more committed.", "I'll never be as good as ___________." and even a doubtful, "No way, I could never do that."
We've all caught comparisonitis one time or another. It barges through in a fury and slaps us upside the head, sending us into a world of scarcity and lack. It can last for days, often leaving us full of doubt, feeling lost, alone, not enough, and ultimately, guilty for feeling that way in the first place.
Now, tell me, what would it feel like not to go down the slippery slope of comparison? What would it feel like to dissolve jealousy in an instant? What would it feel like to trust yourself? Let's get to it.
PAUSE + REFLECT
You're scrolling through Instagram (or Facebook/ a blog/ business/ relationship), past all the 'perfect' bodies, epic yoga moves, drool-worthy recipes, motivational pick-me-ups, and your mind starts chattering. They've figured it out, and you haven't. In an instant, you're sucked in.
Newsflash: Your mind is not your friend. Get still (meditation, a few deep breaths, or catching some fresh air should do it) and create a sense of awareness over what's happening and take a big step back: What's really going on here? What caused this onslaught of anxiety/ hopelessness/ doubt?
REFRAME YOUR PERSPECTIVE
Beneath the surface, there's an actual human you're looking at. With their own set of fears and insecurities who's faced their own hardships/ struggles/ failures and yes, who has felt the very same feelings that you're feeling. Even though it might feel like you're alone in this, we are all made of the same matter and energy, and everything you've felt, it's Universal.
We feel drawn to certain people because it's a reflection of what's possible for us. What we desire in certain people or situations is already within us. We see our future success in theirs and we're merely stepping up to the same energy they're giving off. Ask yourself, what did this person do to get to where they are? What can I learn from them? (Click to tweet!)
Release the notion of competition and shift the focus back on you. What's your mission? What lights you up?
Declare it here and now, "I'm willing and ready."
CELEBRATE + TRUST
You are enough. You have enough. There is enough time in the world and nothing is quite as urgent as you believe it to be. You will get there, you just have to keep going. Your very DNA, every fibre and cell in your body is unique to you, and you alone. Your only task in this world is to be you. What a privilege it is, to be you. To live your truth. To follow your bliss. To radiate your special brand of magic.
Press the brakes for a moment and celebrate how far you've come (because we don't do that enough).
Above all else, trust. Trust in the process of divine timing and know that your dreams and desires have already been met, ten-fold. Trust that it's a done deal. (Literally, envision it. Feel it in your bones.)
Whenever you mind takes over, close your eyes, drop back into your body, and come back to this feeling.
It's a done deal, all you have to do is shine your light.
Let's declare it today: I choose to let go of (comparing my journey to someone else's/ feeling like I don't measure up/ smothering my joy by comparing my success to _________) and by doing so, I honour myself and my unique gifts (so I can rock on with my bad self).
Get as specific as you'd like about what you're ready to let go of and the action steps you're going to follow up with - think, contacting someone who seems 'out of reach', deleting social media apps from your phone, or choosing gratitude for what you have rather than zoning in on someone's 'highlight reel'. Get creative!
Can't wait to read your insights x
Image: All Things E