Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The Juice Cleanse - The (True) Beginning

(If you missed the introduction to The Juice Cleanse - you can catch up right here:)
Let me preface this post by saying that before I began this cleanse, I was incredibly stoked and figured it would be a walk in the park. After all, it was only three days, and I was nurturing my body more than I ever had before. I wasn't suppose to be hungry. It was going to be all rainbows and butterflies and I'd have wonderful life-altering epiphanies and I'd wake up full of energy and ready to take on the rest of my life!

Oh boy, was I ever wrong. In fact, I don't think I could have been more wrong about anything else in my life than in these moments.

Now, let's take a trip back in time. The day before the cleanse was about to begin. I had everything ready - all the necessary tools, the shopping list, and most importantly, a plan. Sebastian and I set out to the nearest grocery store and stocked our cart full of everything we would need for the three day cleanse. My eyes widened as I looked down at it all - I knew it was going to be a lot, especially because everything was being doubled since we were doing this together - but, whoa. I thought the cashier's eyes were going to pop out of her head and wonder what sort of crazy people we were. But she didn't. Which left me slightly disappointed.

I wanted to proudly shout, "Hey! Look at what we're buying! Yea, that's right. I'm buying kale! And beets! And ginger! And 9 batches of celery! And 42 green apples! Did you notice there's no junk food?" And continue to bask in my own pride.

...But I withheld.

Once we got home, I had time to whip up the first three juices for the next day. "This is going to be awesome." I smugly thought to myself and with a great sense of pride, I packed them up, stuck them in the fridge, and anxiously awaited the following day.

At the sound of the alarm, I shot out of bed and was ready to get started! (Keep in mind, this was the day of Sebastian's surgery to get his wisdom teeth out, so since he couldn't consume anything before it, he started with the second juice later on.)

I grabbed my first cup out of the fridge, The Green Juice, took one swift jug, and... what the...

It was repulsive. I made this blatantly obvious by making "yucky" faces while I slowly sipped on this leafy concoction, which only made Sebastian even more excited to give it a try later on. Obviously. But seriously, did I really expect all of this to taste good? Maybe being an optimist isn't more beneficial after all. It was a struggle to get down. From beginning to end it probably took me about two hours to finish completely. With attempts like, "plug your nose, take a drink" and "inhale completely, take a drink, exhale completely. Just like a shot." It wasn't my finest moment.

I will also add, since this is the honest account of what happened, that it made me pee. A lot. While I waited for Sebastian's surgery to be over, which took a grand total of 45 minutes, I had to run off to the bathroom three times. Three times! I'm pretty sure the dental staff thought that I had some serious bladder issues but moving on...

The second juice was apple, pineapple, and mint which was (thankfully) delicious, and I downed that one pretty quickly. By this point I had a mild headache (which is pretty common for me if I don't eat) but I wasn't hungry at all and was just drinking so I could keep up and finish all the juices for that day.

The third juice, and this is where it went all down hill - was The Green Juice again. I'm not going to sugarcoat this - I wasn't looking forward to it. Not even a little. And once it touched my lips, I cringed. All of a sudden I felt extremely nauseous and my headache was only beginning to amplify. I tried to stay strong and keep going, and managed to get down about half of The Green Juice when...

...let's just say that no matter how repulsive you think it is going down, the reverse is about one hundred times worse.

Here I was, supposedly "playing nurse" for Sebastian after his surgery, and here he was rubbing my back and consoling me, asking what I needed. Great job, Allie. I never thought it would be possible that I'd actually feel worse than he did. (My conclusion? He is clearly a freak of nature:) 

And so, I cheated. At around 4pm, I had half a bagel to try to calm my stomach down. Which only kind of worked. Afterwards I sipped on my Spicy Lemonade and that mild headache was slowly turning into a mild migraine. The kind where it feels like your brain is pulsing and your eyes feel like they need their own personal massage. So much for my life-altering epiphany. 

The final two juices of the day were sipped on but never finished. The day was spent on the couch. The plan was to spend the evening making more juice for the next day, but true to form, plans rarely ever stay perfectly on track. I had zero energy, was grumpy, my body was aching all over, and I'm pretty sure somebody smashed a hammer over my head. I wanted to give up. All I could think about was giving up.

And yes, while I realize that I'm being a little dramatic over here. I mean, hello! It was only the first day. I felt defeated and disappointed in myself. At this point, I didn't think I could continue, and well... I felt so bad that the thought of ending it didn't even bother me anymore.

...Then I passed out at 8:30pm and slept for an entire 12 hours. 

To find out what happened, you'll have to check back tomorrow for the final post! (This ended up being way longer than originally anticipated and I don't want to completely bore you to tears:) 

UPDATE: Click here for The Finale.


  1. i love your honesty! i really want to try a cleanse, but i'm worried i'll want to quit and waste all that produce!

  2. Oh, dear. That didn't go as you expected, did it? I have a number of friends who have done cleanses of all sorts, so I knew what was coming to you. :/ I figured I shouldn't warn you, right? I think so.

    Can't wait to read the rest tomorrow!

  3. I was thinking of doing a cleanse so I'm interested to see if it gets any better :)

    New Follower :)