It's the stuff that stirs your soul that I'm interested in. The matters of the heart. What makes your soul sing. What brings out the deep belly laughs. What brings about feelings of peace, joy, fulfilment, and resonance. What sparks radical change, and you know, has the power to change the world.
I'm also heavily interested in the shadows of who we are. Understanding fear, resistance, and what blocks us from living our dreams. The power of facing our fears dead on, diving deeper into them, developing an understanding, and ultimately, returning to a space of love is profound. It's where the magic happens.
While these are the things that I'm drawn to writing about, I want you to know that I don't have all the answers. Far from it. In fact, it's taken me years to get to where I am, and this past year alone has provided me with the biggest personal transformation. Often what I write about is exactly what I need to hear in that moment, to encourage myself to work past the blocks and act in spite of any limiting beliefs that have taken a hold of me. What I'm getting at here is that there is a real live human typing to you from behind the screen, equipped with her own sets of fears and insecurities.
I believe that we've evolved to live in a constant state of fear. (I also believe that we can move beyond this, if we choose to.) Living in this state of fear keeps us locked away from our own happiness, joy, and freedom. Diving straight into our fears is uncomfortable, stirs up negative emotion, and is often avoided like the plague.
I suggest we try a different route: rather than resisting your fears, allow them to be there. Feel them, give them space, understand them, and let them be. Write them out, don't edit or censor, do some stream of consciousness journalling, and let it all out. Yes, all of it.
What are your fears? I'll go first:
+ I often worry that I don't have what it takes to live out my dream of becoming a life coach, writer, and running my own business
+ That people will interpret my passion for self-improvement for a know-it-all arrogant attitude
+ I sometimes suffer from imposter syndrome: Who am I to talk about this? To give any sort of advice?
+ That my path will differ from Sebastian's
+ I fear that my family won't understand my new path in life (and will think I'm slightly crazy)
+ Having always been a private person, the scariest thing to me is opening up and allowing myself to be completely vulnerable
+ I worry that my inner demons will take over and depression will swallow me up, despite all of the inner work I've done over the years...
+ I'm still plagued with bouts of resistance + procrastination + limiting beliefs, and I fear that I won't be able to work through them
+ I worry that if I do actualize my dream, people won't value or pay for my services
+ That I will suffer financially
+ That I will be judged, criticized, and not liked
+ Socially, I can actually be quite shy, soft spoken, and dare I say a bit socially awkward and I fear that these parts of myself will limit me from living as big as I want to
+ That ultimately, I will fail and have to settle for less, which is probably my biggest fear of all. Being stuck, hitting the plateau, coasting along...
That wasn't easy. Uncovering your biggest fears is uncomfortable, scary, and well, it's freaking hard to do. (And harder to admit publicly!) But you know what? These thoughts aren't real. Fear at its core is our way of protecting ourselves, from harm, embarrassment, failure, you name it.
Once we begin to understand our fears, we begin to understand ourselves. We can choose to guide ourselves back to a loving, more nurturing space. Instead of diving into the stories behind all those fears, we can shift the focus. We have the opportunity to overcome our greatest fears.
As Wayne Dyer puts it, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Once you dissect your fears, you can intentionally shift your thoughts:
+ I know that I do, in fact, have what it takes to live my dream, that my passion and enthusiasm will be lovingly received, and I have value to generously give by sharing my story and what I've learnt in my life.
+ That where I am, and where Sebastian is, is where we are meant to be, and we will continue to grow together, even if our paths don't look identical.
+ My family doesn't necessarily have to understand me, but they will support me.
+ By facing my fears and opening up to the world, I allow magic to make its way into my life. I've done the work, I've lived through the thick of it, and I've come so far. I continuously allow myself to open up, and I gently guide myself whenever faced with previous notions of lack, self-doubt, and the like. I choose to live with those, I accept them, and I lovingly embrace all parts of myself.
+ My dreams aren't just dreams, they are tangible goals that are to be made into reality, and I'm ready to make it all possible. When I do, people will see that I have so much to offer, and will embrace my message, knowing that it comes from a place of generosity and love.
+ The money will come. So will the criticism, and that's okay. If you aren't ruffling feathers every now and again, you aren't making steps towards profound change.
+ While yes, I can be quite shy and reserved, this doesn't limit me. I may not love to party all the time and drink to excess, but while honouring myself and my needs, I make space for real connection, and true joy.
+ I am not capable of settling for anything less. (Neither are you.)
Give it a go for yourself and see what pops up.
Feel the discomfort, the tension, let the tears roll down your cheeks, scream if you want to.
It's time that we stop allowing the stories we tell ourselves to rule us, that we take back the reins on our lives, and return to a space of love. To fall in love with the essence of who we truly are. To notice the opportunities, rather than the roadblocks. To cast aside security, comfort, and the longing to find love externally. To revel in what makes us different, weird, and unusual. To demand more out of our lives, and spring towards it.
YOUR TURN: Will you drop the walls that shield your heart? What are you afraid of? (And what will be your new belief moving forward?) I'm SO curious about your thoughts on this one, and where this conversation goes, so PLEASE feel free to open up + share in the comments. Go for it.
Image via Julian Bialowas
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