Connected, but alone?

It's no question that technology is one of the greatest things introduced into our lives. It has changed the way we live forever. It makes our lives just a little bit better, easier, and keeps people from losing touch with each other. If I had a dime for every time I've overhead somebody say "What did people do before Google?", I could fill an Olympic sized swimming pool.

Technology can also be our greatest downfall. And if you have the time, take a moment out of your day to watch this video. I've mentioned my love of TED talks in the past, and this particular video is up there among my favourites. Why? Because it makes you think. And it doesn't just make you think about some arbitrary subject that doesn't really affect you, it makes you think about the way you live your life.

Human relationships are rich, and they're messy, and they're demanding and we clean them up with technology.

And when we do, one of the things that can happen is that we sacrifice conversations for mere connection.

We short-change ourselves.

We're developing the habit of using our cellphones as a crutch. Myself included. Anytime I've had a free moment to myself, I use it to catch up on social networking sites - waiting in line at the checkout, the doctor's office, the bus stop, waiting for a friend. We use our phones in awkward social situations, and even when we're just spending time with friends. It's an extension of us.

But are we sacrificing our relationships because of it? Or worse yet - ourselves? We've become use to forming thoughts in 140 characters or less that the idea of having an actual real conversation is daunting.

How many times have you gotten together with a group of friends and looked around only to notice every person you're with is attached to their phone? While texting, we have the chance to choose our words wisely and even go back and edit what we're sending. A conversation happens in real-time, and we lose the control over what comes out of our mouths. Our emotions run rampant and that loss of control is scary.

We're expecting more and more from technology and less from each other. And it has to change. For the sake of our friends, spouses, and each other. Because when you connect on a level that isn't so superficial, that is when we really find ourselves.

As much as I see this shift happening in the way we socialize with each other, the importance of being alone is just as valuable. When was the last time you sat alone with your thoughts? I don't mean sat alone and watched TV, surfed the net, or even listened to music. I mean, totally and completely alone. 

I think the need to fill our days with "busyness" - tasks, goals, chores, errands, etc comes from the pressure to do everything. My generation in particular is especially ambitious. We want to do it all and we want to do it right now. Whenever we have a spare moment, we're searching for ways to fill it. We can never just "be". We've started developing ways to fill the void of loneliness. But we need to start thinking of being alone as a good thing, and make room for it. By teaching ourselves and future generations that being alone isn't important is only setting all of us up to feel dependent and lonely.

A great tip from the video is a simple one that each and every one of us can use - create sacred spaces and reclaim them for conversation. Whether it's the kitchen or the living room. Sebastian and I have even started setting up a day where put away technology and focus just on each other.

It's time we stop removing ourselves from our own feelings by going into our phones. It's time to be present in our daily lives. Turn off that television program, put down your phones, and turn to the person next to you and talk to them. Talk about your dreams, talk about life, hell, talk about anything.

Make this life the life we can love.

Just some thoughts on this rainy Monday afternoon. :)