Good morning, gorgeous souls!
Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about dream scheming and goal-setting, which prompted me to write yesterday's quick note about balance. As a follow-up to that post, I'd like to dive a little deeper today and talk about letting go.
It was Danielle LaPorte who said that what you stop doing is just as important as what you start and continue to do. Let me explain...
We all know how to go, go, go but do we know how to stop doing what's no longer serving us?
Maybe it's that you're stretching yourself too thin, you're taking on 352395 projects and can't seem to focus on any of them. There's the stuff - the juicy stuff - that really lights you up, and there's everything else, the stuff you like but could really do without yet you keep on keeping on out of obligation.
Maybe it's that you're holding yourself to these crazy high expectations and constantly feel like you're falling behind. You've got that wicked to-do list, and you keep on adding to it, but never seem to cross as much off as you'd like, which is making you feel like you're not qualified enough, talented enough, doing enough, or just enough. Period.
Now that we're close to that mid-year mark, let's set aside some time to reassess...
+ When you started off the year, where were you at? Reflect back. Did you set goals? Intentions?
+ Where are you now? Do those goals and intentions align with how you feel today? Get crystal clear on your feelings and desires. (Write 'em out, if it helps!)
+ Next, think about what you're deeply passionate about. The stuff that makes you feel alive when you do it, the stuff you were born to do.
+ Are you feeling how you want to feel? Are you spending your time doing the things that make you feel your best? If you're coming up with a big, fat no - stop doing them.
Seriously. This is the time to look back and get clear on what's sucked. What's not working? Do you have any resentment towards certain tasks? What's leaving you feeling bogged down, guilty, like dead weight? That's your giant red flag. The big ol' stop sign. Let it come to a screeching halt. Shut it down. Pull back. Cease fire!
When you stop doing what's no longer serving you,
you open the door for so much more.
Declare it, here and now! Here's my stop doing list:
1. I will no longer allow fear to fuel me. Instead, I will let the resistance act as a guide to push me further and lovingly embrace vulnerability. Even if it scares me to bits. Even if I'm afraid of push back or looking silly/unqualified/abrasive/etc. Time to open up and get real. It's the best thing all over the place - my relationships, my career, and my writing.
2. I will stop saying yes to opportunities that come up as a big no in my head. My own joy is the new driving force in town, so all the justifications to keep on going even though I'm not happy with what I'm doing? Out the window. It's time to be honest with myself and my truest desires. (AMEN!)
3. No more feeling like I have to be superwoman. I hold myself up to high expectations and want to be everything and do everything but, I'm just me. Some days being gentle with myself can be an uphill battle and the pressure weighs down. No more being so damn hard on myself. No more "I should be doing _________" or "How can I cram more of _________" It's all about self-love.
4. I will not let social media distract me. Disconnecting can be a difficult thing. This means no more leaving Facebook, Twitter, or email open when I'm writing. I find when I just get right down to it, I work so much better and "the flow" flows.
5. No more going to bed late. I'm discovering that my best work happens first thing in the morning, and that means getting to bed early so I wake up feeling energized and refreshed.
6. Stop rushing and running around. I've been called a tad bit forgetful. (That may or may not be an understatement) This can send me running around, trying to pick up the bits that have fallen to the wayside, all the while stressing me out. It's okay. The world will keep spinning. Even in times of chaos, I will remember to take deep breaths and be still.
All of these things distract me, stress me out, bring me down, leaving me feeling drained and bogged down. By freeing up the space that these activities hold, I'm opening myself up for the things that make me feel enlivened, energized, and empowered. Tackle the small steps with great love and see where it takes you.
What's on your stop doing list? What's taking up valuable head space that you need to clear out? Say it loud and proud in the comments!
Image via Julian Bialowas
I remember this is kind of how I felt after my second 65-mile charity bike ride. Training for the first one gave me focus and a sense of accomplishment/self-fulfillment that I so very much needed at the time. Even though some people finished the 100-mile route before I finished mine (it literally took all day), I took great satisfaction in knowing that I may have finished last, but I FINISHED. I had done what I set out to do, this looming goal was achieved.
ReplyDeleteThe second year, I had other things going on that summer. Things that provided me with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Training for the second one took away from that and added stress to my life. I realized that the void it had filled one summer wasn't there the next, and my life was feeling a little crowded. So, I stopped training hard and enjoyed everything much more.
Love this! Such a perfect example that what may have served you in the past could be weighing you down right now, which is why it's so important to step back and reassess where you are currently. Kudos to you for recognizing that and not just pushing through, sacrificing your happiness in the process! xx
DeleteI definitely need to make a list like this. But one of the man things that I need to stop doing is allowing things that I have absolutely no control over affect me as much as they do. I need to START truly letting go.
ReplyDeleteI was the exact same way! (And still - it's all a work in progress!) Once you make the decision to let go, it's amazing how uplifted you can feel. xx
DeleteMy father-in-law has a theory that he is basing an entire life-coaching book around. His whole theory is that you have to create a mission statement for your life, and then make decisions based exclusively on how certain events and activities can positively contribute to moving in the direction of your mission statement. It sounds a lot like what you are currently doing!
ReplyDeleteI think we get tricked into thinking we have to do everything because we're encouraged to try everything to find our passion but then we're also told that it's bad to be a quitter. but, necessarily, when we've found our passion we should stop doing the other things easier said than done, but we must remember :)
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