How To Open Your Heart

We all have an infinite amount of energy stored within us. This energy is your very birthright and it's completely unlimited. It's not defined by age or time, it doesn't get tired or need food. How incredible is that? And it's all yours. The only thing that it needs to shine is openness.

The only reason we don't feel this energy all the time is because we block it out. We close our hearts, our minds, and pull back into a restrictive space inside. Think about it - when somebody pays you a compliment, a sudden hit of inspiration strikes you, you're living it up on vacation, you're deeply in love, or you're just feeling clear, your heart expands. You can literally feel the energy running through your veins. On the contrary, you've just heard some bad news, life is just not going quite your way, you've had a falling out with a friend, your heart's been broken - your heart contracts. You can't think, you can't sleep, your chest feels tight, nothing is flowing. This happened because you closed down and the energy can't get in. This is what it means to be "blocked."

As we go through life, we're constantly opening and closing our hearts. Expansion and contraction.

Why does this happen? How can we control it? How can we stay "open"? It all depends on you.

RELEASE & LET GO 
Plain and simple? We're programmed to go through this process based on our past experiences. We've all been through our own set of challenges that may have created some inner fears (and insecurities) that have been stored and locked away. Our past experiences have left impressions on us that, when stimulated, push us into "defence" mode. When this happens, our heart closes as a way to protect ourselves.

These "triggers" could be anything, something as simple as a phrase, a certain scent, the way food tastes, seeing a certain car, a specific place. Anything that reminds you of that past occurrence that had a negative effect on you. (The same way that those things could also spark a memory that you're fond of, it goes both ways.)

Let's say you're at home cooking dinner, and as you're whipping up that mean stir fry, you're reminded that you and your ex use to make that meal together all the time. Suddenly, you feel lonely. Your mind begins to play into that. "What is wrong with me? I have so much love to give, I want to be in love, but I can't find anyone to share that with." And ultimately, "I'm never going to find someone, I'll always be lonely." Our minds have a way of being extremely melodramatic, don't you think? It all started out with making a nourishing meal for yourself, and suddenly you're going to be alone for the rest of your life.

Step one is to stop buying into the self-sabotage stories. Your mind is going to create the worst possible reality in your mind to keep you tucked away in a closed state of fear, worry, and what might seem like your "comfort zone." You are not your past. (Release it. Keep the past in the past.) Putting your guard up in an attempt to protect yourself only limits you. When these thoughts enter your mind, your initial reaction might be to focus and build on them (like in the story above), instead, choose to let them go.

DECIDE HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL
Just how good do you want to feel?
How high do you want to get?
How much love do you want to give?
How much enthusiasm do you want to feel in what you do?

If living your best life means feeling enthusiasm, love, and joy all the time, then don't ever close up. Wear your heart on your sleeve, loud and proud, unafraid of what's going to come next, because guess what? It's all out of your control anyway.

Defining what you want in order to stay open actually ends up limiting you. If you make a list about how the world has to be for you to be open, you're just limiting yourself to those conditions. Learn to feel that enthusiasm, love, and joy on the inside. When you do, what happens on the outside doesn't matter. Be open no matter what. Period.

OPEN UP, BABY
Once you've decided to let go of your self-imposed restrictions, practice, practice, practice. Closing is a habit, and it's one you've got to break. If you pay attention, you'll notice that this happens regularly throughout the day. The more you stay open, the more energy will flow through you. And the only way to stay open, is to learn to never close.

A potential speaking gig that's got you feeling like a ball of nerves? Power through, shaky voice and all, smash through your fears.

Your partner said something that gets right under your skin, your instinct is to close up, get defensive, and fire back with your usual witty remark. Stop. Instead of getting sucked into the argument and negativity, think about why what was said affected you so much. Why did that hurt? Why am I getting so defensive?

Whenever you feel great love and enthusiasm, think to yourself, "Why can't I feel this way all the time?" Notice the shift that happens when you stop feeling that way. You're no longer open because you chose to close. Depending on how closed you are defines how easy or hard it will be to open up again. Once you've put in the inner work, you'll find that unlimited energy will flow effortlessly through you, and instead of that fleeting feeling of inspiration and joy, it will remain a constant in each and every moment.

Choose openness. Choose expansion. Always. Nothing is worth closing your heart over.

A little Q&A for you, my loves! Think back to a time when you've felt "blocked", how did you snap yourself out of it and open yourself up again? We've all been there! I'd love for you to share.

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How To Make Your Dreams A Reality

How To is a feature on Between Dreams to publicly celebrate other women's strengths and triumphs as they've broken out of their comfort zones, tested their limits, and set out to live their truest desires. It's a snapshot of their incredible stories and lives. My intention is that these stories, bits of advice, and words inspire you to live out your dreams, as we were all meant to.

Passionate. Kind. Creative. Risk-taker. An artist. Designer. Decorater. Business Owner. Blogger. Lover of all things beautiful. Jenny of Maiedae embodies of all these things, and does so with fire and spunk. As she recently made the leap of quitting her 9-5 job to go full-time with her business partner at Maiedae, a company designed for individuals looking to spruce up their blog design, business identity, or website. Jenny has stretched so far out of her comfort zone, that there are no limits anymore.

Let this gorgeous soul inspire you as she dives into what worked for her and made her dreams the reality she's living each and every day.

Hello beautiful readers! I'm Jenny Highsmith, of Maiedae, and I'm so happy to be doing a guest post for Allie! When she asked me to do a post on “How to Make Your Dreams a Reality”, I was thrilled. A while ago, I shared on my blog the exciting news about how I recently quit my 9-5 job (woohoo!!) and went full-time with Maiedae. I am so so so excited and happy to finally be taking this risk. You can read more about that story on my blog here.

For those who don’t want to read the whole story, pretty much what you need to know is that I’ve always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I’m a graphic designer and an artist – I love making things beautiful. But, I realized as I grew up that making your dreams happen wasn’t the way the movies made it out to be. It wasn’t easy.

Allie made a good point that many people would follow their dreams if they only knew how. So, how does one follow their dreams? I’m definitely no expert, but if I were to break down what I’ve learned on my journey of following my dreams, I would give these four pieces of advice:

1. FOCUS

We all have dreams, passions, and talents.  From the time we are really little all the way through our life, we have dreams. About our future, about what we want to be, about our passions. The thing is, our dreams constantly change and sometimes we have so many we don’t know where to start. Sometimes, we have dreams and we aren’t gifted or talented at all in that area. So, the first step is, to focus or narrow down your top dreams and passions and figure out where your talents line up with that.

To do this, I would suggest taking some time to get away, take some alone time, and write out all of your passions, talents, and dreams. Look for common themes. And, at the end of the day, look inside your heart and decide what really “gets you going.” For me, I’m passionate about art, hospitality, family, building relationships, bringing others joy, and a lot of other things. But, when I thought about the day-to-day, what really satisfies my soul is creating beautiful designs or art for others in order to help them pursue their passions and fulfill their potential. I love enabling others to accomplish their dreams by making things beautiful. And although I might be passionate about those other things, this is what I chose to focus on and pursue as my “career” dream.

2. PLAN & PREPARE

Although risk is required in almost every case of pursuing your dreams, planning and preparing for those risks is just as important. You might think, “Then how is it a risk if you’ve prepared for it?” Well, if you’re deciding to quit your 9-5 job like I am and decrease your salary by half, that’s a huge risk. Not planning or preparing financially for that risk would be unwise, but doing so doesn’t make it less of a risk – it just makes you smart.

When I realized that I wanted to pursue Maiedae full time as a career, I took a risk and moved to Atlanta with little preparation. I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have a support group, and I didn’t have a huge savings account. I couldn’t prepare for some of those things, but I could have prepared more than I did. So, when I realized that it was time to start thinking about preparing for going full-time with Maiedae, I sat down with my husband and we starting planning out financially how we could best prepare for this transition. We set goals for our savings account and started living off of the new budget that I would be on with Maiedae to practice and see how it would work. We prepared and planned and took “calculated risk.”

3. STOP DREAMING & START DOING

Whoever said that dreams come easy was LYING to everyone and should be shunned. Okay, maybe not. I think maybe it’s just that, as a child, we all look through life’s window with our eyes glazed over with possibility. We think we are invincible and that life will be so good to us. Then we grow up. We realize that life is tough. And one day we look back and wonder how we got where we are now.

I’m here to tell you that I felt the same way. I realized at the beginning of college that my dreams of being an entrepreneur had little chance of ever happening. I felt discouraged and lost. And I realized I was not on a path towards real purpose for my life.  Shortly after, I learned a very important lesson:

There comes a point where you have to stop dreaming, planning, and preparing and just start going for it. You have to stop saying, “One day I’d love to…” or “What if…” or “I just can’t…” and just start trying.

I didn’t know that I could actually accomplish my dreams until I started actually doing them. Once I started, it gave me hope and stirred my passion even more. And I realized that I COULD do whatever I put my mind to. All it takes is courage and action.

4. MAKE SACRIFICES

Actually moving from “dreaming” to “doing” is the first big hurdle to jump over. The second is when you realize that “doing” means a lot of hard work, long hours, making sacrifices, being consistent and persistent, and keeping yourself inspired and on task. Savannah and I started Maiedae almost 3 years ago. And for the past 3 years, I’ve worked a 9-5 job, then come home and worked every night (except Wednesday which is date night for my husband and I) and most weekends. Am I exhausted? Y-E-S. But pursuing your dreams requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice.

I joke around a lot that I’ve give up my social life along with many other hobbies for Maiedae. And, although that’s true for the most part, I know that it will pay off. And it’s a decision that had to be made. Figure out what sacrifices you have to make to make your dreams happen and ask yourself if you are willing to follow through with them.

I'd love to hear any advice you have on making your dreams a reality! Feel free to leave a comment below or email me at jenny@maiedae.com. Thank you again for having me here! Check out my blog sometime - Jenny Highsmith - for more Things I've Learned, Fashion, DIY Projects, and other fun tidbits!

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How To Follow Your Dreams

Today I have something incredible in store for you! It's all about following your dreams. You've already figured out what your purpose is, so now we're gonna arm you with the how. (Get excited!)

I'm incredibly honoured to have Jenni from Story of My Life here today to tell you all about it! This is a girl whose blog has grown exponentially with her charm, wit, and sheer dedication. If you've been following along in her journey, you've witnessed the raw talent she has as a photographer as her business, J. Noel Photography, begins to flourish. This girl's got grit!

As someone who's in the thick of this following your dreams bit, Jenni has been an inspiration to me, and now she's here today, dishing out the straight-up honest truth about what she's learned in her own life.

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Allie asked me to write a bit about following your dreams, I suppose because she thinks I'm good at it. I don't know how good at it I really am (most of the time I feel like I'm just stumbling along, following a little glimmer of hope and light I see off in the distance and believing it will pay off in a big way for me someday), but I'll happily share what I've learned along my journey so far. This is my truth.

1. Dream following has to start with an intense passion and a natural aptitude. Weirdly enough, that intense passion and natural aptitude, for me, was blogging. I've had this passion for years now, even a couple years before I actually started my current blog. I followed it, that thing that made me super happy and fulfilled me and that I was good at, and I poured countless hours of my life into it on the simple faith that doing something I loved this much could only lead to amazing things. And it has. It absolutely has. The story definitely isn't over yet, but I know today I have done the right thing.

The natural aptitude thing is so important too, though. When I was a kid, I used to want to be a famous singer when I grew up. Thank God my dad told me you have to have talent to be a famous singer, because who knows, I might have wasted years of my life on voice lessons and American Idol auditions and still had no natural aptitude. My point is, don't waste your life following a dream you think you should have, or a dream you have no skill for. Follow where your heart and your head and your God-given talents lead you. They don't lead you wrong.

2. Dream following is a flexible thing. Sometimes one dream leads you to another. Taking that first step of blind faith can be hard. In my case, I decided to pretty much be a full time blogger in lieu of getting a "real" job, even though I knew that it would probably be many years before I made even as much as I could make waiting tables at a busy restaurant. But I followed my passion and my aptitude, and my blogging gig has lead me to this other, beautiful passion for photography, which is turning out to be potentially much more profitable. Taking steps in a positive direction, following a glimmer of hope and a glimpse of a dream, opens the doors for things you never even knew you loved or were good at. It's a way cool thing.

3. Understand the gap. Own it.

4. Dream following is accomplished in the day-in and day-out, getting your hands dirty, doing the hard things other people won't. It is accomplished in the present moment. Never in the future. It is accomplished in the decision you make right now. To get your business cards designed instead of reading blogs. To sacrifice lunch dates to pay for your website design. To get up at 6:30 AM instead of 8:30, because you know you do your best work in the morning, if you can just get yourself out of bed. To make goals and ways to constantly remind yourself of them. To wake up even earlier to have time to mediate on those goals. To involve other people - to let all your friends and family know about your goals and how they can help you achieve them, even it just means understanding that you'll be poor for a year while you get your business off the ground.

All of this "in the present" work will look different for everyone. But this is the hardest lesson of all. FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS IS SOMETIMES HARD WORK. Work that isn't fun. It isn't miserable, because you know it's contributing to and part of your dream, but it IS hard. That's what separates the successes from the failures. Willingness to do what others won't or can't. Willingness to train yourself where you are weak, to be different and be strong. In my case, I suffer terribly with FOCUS. I could have three times as much done for my blog and my photography business right now if I could just stay focused and not waste time throughout the day. So I am retraining myself, slowly but surely, to be focused. Some methods have worked, some haven't. For me, this is where the hardest work comes in. For you, it might be something different. But you can do it.

That's my best advice for now. :) Come visit me over at Story of My Life or j. noel photography anytime. Thanks for having me Allie, and thanks to YOU for reading!

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How to Declutter Your Closet

Whenever you look through your wardrobe, you should be excited with the options you have. The clothes you choose have the ability to express who you are like nothing else. But actually going through and organizing it all? It can be painful, frustrating, and sometimes, emotional.

We associate our clothes with moments and past feelings in our lives; that shirt you wore on your first date with your husband or those skinny jeans you're waiting to get into again. It's no wonder we put off going through it all and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of.

Now's the time to start fresh and make room for a new (more confident) YOU!

And let me tell you - in the end, purging your closet is freeing. You're not just freeing the clutter from your closet, you're freeing the clutter from your mind too! It's just getting around to it. And I'm here to tell you how. First, set aside at least half a day and follow these simple steps...

SORT
Take everything, and I mean everything, out of your closet and any dressers. Go through each item and sort into three piles - KEEP, MAYBE, and NO WAY. Remember to only put items in the KEEP pile that you absolutely love - no ifs, ands, or buts. If you're even just a little bit unsure, chuck it into the MAYBE pile.

ANALYZE
Now it's time to go through that MAYBE pile, and if you're anything like me, that pile is big. I'd even go as far to say gigantic. But anyway...
As you look through your items, be honest and ask yourself: When was the last time I wore this? How did I feel when I wore it last? Does it still fit? Do I want this for sentimental reasons? Can it be re-purposed or altered? Do I have too many of this item? (Fun fact: I had 8 pairs of sweatpants. Eight. Who needs that many sweatpants?!)

Try things on if you have to. Get a full length mirror. Stand on a chair in front of a mirror if you have to! It's amazing how many pieces I came across that I completely forgot I had. (It happens, okay!) But chances are if you haven't worn something within a year (or more), you're not going to again.

After you've successfully gone through this process, put all of your unwanted items into bags and always remember to give to charity rather than throwing them away. Another person's junk is another person's treasure, remember? ;)

ORGANIZE
Lastly, it's all about making your life more manageable. It's being unorganized that causes us to lose track of some of our best pieces. Sort items with like items. That means dresses hang with dresses, skirts with skirts, dress pants with other dress pants, dressy shirts together, casual shirts, the list goes on and on. Colour-code if you're feeling adventurous.

If you have some pieces of clothing that you love but are unsure of how to put it together with an outfit, display it somewhere where it's visible. That way, as you look through and choose your outfits, you can start to visualize what you could pair it with.

TIP: Purging your closet works best when accompanied by your favourite music and maybe even a glass or two of wine.

When you're all done, not only will you feel accomplished, you'll be able to start your mornings by quickly picking an outfit that you're absolutely in love with. (Win-win!)

While sorting through all my clothes on the weekend, I got rid of a whopping two garbage bags full of clothes! And my cats were also very pleased with the comfy bed I made - which was so obviously meant for them.

When's the last time you purged your closet? Did it go smoothly? I'd love to hear your tips on how to get through it!

P.S. I'm over at Tragic & Lovely today, answering the burning question "Who do women dress for?" Head on over to find out my answer!

(Top photo; source)

How To Brighten Up Your Space

Hello hello!

My name is Aude, from heodeza, and I’m delighted to be guest blogging for Allie while she’s travelling around the globe.

I've put together a small paper garland tutorial for you today with touches of neon because, well, I can't seem to get enough of it lately!

The other day I came across a craft puncher I had never seen before: a button-hole punch. It makes two cute little wholes which make it super easy to thread pieces of paper together. It’s perfect to make a garland without any glue or a sewing machine (so far I had always used either one method or the other when making my garlands).

Wanna see how I did it?

Let me show you!

Here is what you’ll need:

• card paper (white and neon yellow)
• strong thread
• needle
• different round(ish) paper punchers (I used a small round one, a scalloped circle and an asterisk-shaped one)
• button-hole paper puncher (if you don't have one I guess you could also just poke your paper with a thick needle but it probably won't look as neat)

Start by punching the small button holes, making sure there is enough space in between them to later cut the circles.

• Use the different round-ish craft punchers to cut the shapes out. Make sure to aim so that the button holes are nicely in the center.

Once you’ve prepared lots of paper ‘buttons’, cut a thread slightly longer than the length you want your garland to have in the end. Thread the needle and go through your first paper button’s holes. In order to secure the button in one place (so that the final product is evenly spread out and so that the buttons don’t move around all the time), follow these three very simple steps:

• Choose the place on the thread where your button should be and hold it there.
• Pass the needle through the first and second hole again.
• Pull the whole thread through.

That's it!

Just repeat this over and over again all the way until you have a bright garland that you can hang somewhere pretty and admire all summer!

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Thank you for this fantastic tutorial, Aude! Wouldn't this be so lovely to use for a party? You could incorporate this at a baby shower, engagement party, birthdays... or just to add a little extra spice in your home! It's super versatile. I can't wait to try it out for myself!

Aude's blog, heodeza, is packed full of many more do-it-yourself tutorial's like this one. Her creativity and eye for design is a huge source of inspiration, so head on over to see more for yourself!