Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Being A Bride: Three Months Out

allie-wedding-inspiration photo wedding-inspiration-between-dreams_zps87ab8826.jpg

When it comes to weddings, I immediately think of how much time, energy, planning, and money goes into orchestrating the perfect day. The pressures to make everything "just right". The never-ending Pinterest boards, magazines, and options! So many options!

I must confess - before getting engaged, I never dreamt about what my wedding would be like. I always imagined myself as a wife but never as a bride. After Sebastian put a ring on it, you can imagine my shock when I signed up on The Knot only to discover I had 179 things on my to-do list. One hundred and seventy nine to-dos.

I kind of went from elated, over-the-moon joy to my stomach flying into my throat, jaw dropping to the floor, while my eyes simultaneously poppd out of their sockets.

Yeah, a little something like that.

There's been a lot of new (and stunning!) faces around here lately, so I'll fill you in on the juicy details if you've missed out...

Last June, Sebastian and I journeyed to Europe with family and friends. We partied in Poland during the Euro Cup, I met Sebastian's extended-family for the first time, and I learned how to handle all those vodka shots. We then hopped on a plane over to Rome just the two of us. We wined, dined, and explored, nearly losing our feet in the process. It was a whirlwind. It was magic. It was so much more than I ever could have expected. And, he waited until just four days before the end of our Euro trip before getting down on one knee and proposing in the city he was born in.

In the beginning of the planning process, it was a challenge to really narrow down on what we wanted. There's so many things that I/we thought we wanted, but really didn't. At times, we got swept up in the circus of everything, only to realize it wasn't what we truly wanted.

Now, we're just under three months away from hopping on a plane and flying down to the Dominican to get hitched! Sometimes I just have to pinch myself because it doesn't feel real. And you know what the weirdest thing is? I'm not stressed.

Say whaaat?

For real. Deciding to have a destination wedding was hands-down the best decision we could have made. They do everything. Of course, there's small things like favors, stationary, and small decor that you bring with you to make it personal, but for the most part, it's taken care of.

After seeing my enormous to-do list, seeing how stressful it's been for friends, reading through all the wedding resources, I sat there the other night, just thinking about it all. And you know what I did? I cried. Why wasn't I stressed out? Was I doing it wrong? Am I not doing enough? I'm not even joking. I was getting emotional because I wasn't stressed out. Backwards, huh? (That self-doubt is always ready to pounce, I tell you.)

Whether you're planning to board a plane, or tie the knot locally, here's some things that have helped me along the way...

1. KNOW THAT IT WILL ALL WORK OUT. Get it in that pretty little brain of yours! The one constant in life is that it's always willing to throw out some (major) curveballs. Don't get worked up over it, just know that this is life's way of bringing you something different. Think of it as a juicy present. Sometimes it's the unexpected messes that bring everything together to create perfection.

2. BREATHE. PLEASE, JUST BREATHE. Feeling overwhelmed? Walk. Away. From. The. Computer. Put down the phone! Get some perspective. Coordinating to get together a big group of your family and friends can prove to be challenging. Don't sweat the small stuff. Take some time for yourself and take a few deep breathes. You know what? Let's do it right now. Breathe in through your nose and count to 4, then exhale and count to 6.

Inhale for..1...2...3...4...
Exhale for...1...2...3...4...5...6...
And again,

Doesn't that feel good?!

3. ASK FOR HELP. You are strong and fiercely independent. It's completely natural for you to want to do everything yourself. But giiirl, take it easy! You are surrounded by love. That huge group of love doesn't want you getting all crazy. No need to be she-woman if you don't need to. Delegate. Ask for help. Talk it out with someone.

4. SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE. You're getting married! And you know what? That's pretty freaking incredible. You have come into this life and found your soulmate. High five to that! In 20-30-40+ years from now, you're not going to look back on it all and think, "But it wasn't as pretty as all those Pinterest boards." "I wish I had bought _________."

It's not about pleasing everyone but yourself, it's not about draining your bank account, it's not about comparison, and it's certainly not worth sacrificing your health and/or sanity over it.

How about we make a pact? Let's all shift our focus back to what weddings are really about. It's two lives uniting together through love. Wicked awesome love powerful enough to move mountains! The kind of love that's so rare to find, but when you do, you'll do anything to protect it. THAT'S what it's all about. And let me just say, it's pretty damn beautiful.

Are you in the midst of wedding planning? How's it going? (Or are you already married? If so, I'd love to hear any wedding tips you might have for me!)

P.S. In case you missed it, here's a look at our engagement photos.

Images: All images were taken from my own Wedding Inspiration pinboard. Find them here. xx


  1. Oh Congratulations! You must be so excited! I married my HS Sweetheart 24 years ago...we've been together since 87. Stumbled across your glad I did...happily following!

    Ramblings of a Southern Belle

  2. Thanks for this post sweet pea! I am about 4 1/2 months away (June 8th!) and I have been blessed beyond belief to find an incredible planner. Somedays I wake up and feel like I NEED to be more worried about things than I am, but like you said--we are getting married! At the end of the day, if we are hitched that's all that will matter :)

    Now finding a place to live...... that's a different story.

  3. My mum got married last summer and she felt exactly the same as you. We had it all at one place and stayed over the night before - they handled all the food and everything, got the rooms set up - the works. Everyone kept saying to her "whats your theme?" (weird, right?) in the end she turned round and said "my theme is 'Kev and I are getting married' ". Because you are SO right, weddings are about love & celebrating that love with the people that mean the most to you. Not about colour schemes and dessert tables and whether your pictures are going to end up on Pinterest Just, love. x

  4. I'm sure your wedding (and marriage!) are going to be amazing. haha...couple weeks ago, I posted lessons I've learned as a wedding/reception attendee.

  5. oh you guys are going to have SO MUCH FUN! and it's only the beginning!

  6. My husband and I got married just under two years ago. Our intent had always been to keep our wedding celebration small, despite his side of the family being incredibly large. Once his parents started casually requesting more people be added to the guest list, we changed our strategy, cancelled our reservation at our larger venue, cut our guest list in half, and had a small ceremony and dinner with only 30 of our closest friends and family.

    We kept it simple, and in doing so, married only 5 months after our engagement (mind blowing for many people, it seems!). We were stress free, the day itself was perfect, and our wallet didn't go into convulsions.

    Weddings aren't meant to be a stage show production, and yet, that's exactly what they've seemingly become. :(

    1. I'm so happy that you and your husband did what was right for you two and followed your instincts!

      And that last line! Exaaactly! It's so hard not to compare ourselves to others, and when you're faced with "179 to-dos", the first instinct is to go crazy, making it as perfect as possible. But perfect as possible doesn't have to be the stage show. Perfect is making it about you and the one you love. That teeny tiny mindset shift makes such a difference!

  7. We had a really small, simple, perfect for us wedding. We had just over 30 people attend, and it was so much fun. The emphasis was on celebrating the occasion, not throwing a huge event. I loved every minute of it! And you know what, everyone who was there loved it! They remembered all the things I couldn't have planned. Our youngest and ring bearer trying to have a pillow fight with a friends little boy and almost causing the "great ring hunt!" the father daughter dance when my parents surprised me with a song they wrote and my Dad had recorded .... if there is any advice I could pass on, it would be that in the end, the decorations, the invitations, all the fluff that looks pretty in photos, will just be looking pretty in photos. The moments, big, small and best of all the unplanned, are going to be what people remember most, so don't sweat the small stuff!

  8. My post today was going to be very similar - so I'm glad I saw yours before pressing submit! I'm 10 days out and having really been stressed at all. Except when Justin's suit got stuck in customs for like 4 weeks and only arrived a week ago. That was a bit stressful. But other than that, it's been a breeze! Destination weddings are the way to go! But seriously, the thing that has been best for me, is that like you, I never had a solid picture in my mind of what the day would be like. Because I have no expectations about food, decor, etc, it really frees me up from wondering if it will be perfect. Because you know what? I'm marrying my best friend - so of course it's going to be perfect!

  9. I totally agree. When I first made my budget spreadsheet, it had a million rows of things we'd be spending money on - or so I thought, because the Wedding Industrial Complex told us we had to. (Yes, that is a thing!) As we've done more and more planning, I've deleted more and more rows. We don't even come close to needing all that extra stuff!

  10. Did you write this post just for me? I think you did.

    I wanted a destination wedding so very, very badly. I still do. But I'm trying to make the best out of the wedding we agreed [compromised] on. I am creating my own stress, mostly because I want the day to be about us, not about the same generic thing that millions of other north american couples have done before.

    But it will work out. It will be great. And I am very glad you aren't stressed in the least.

  11. I got married a little over two years ago--and I so took the strategy of focusing on the fact that I was getting married and not the fact that I was having a wedding, and I don't have one regret. I'm sure I could have spent more money or done more crafting or personalized my wedding more if I'd decided to devote more thought and time and effort to it--but all I really wanted to to marry my guy, and I did, so I got what was most important out of it.

  12. I got married just last summer and all of this is so true! On the day of there were several things that "went wrong" (i.e. I completely forgot my garter, etc...) and yet I didn't notice a thing! I was married to my best friend and we were surrounded by love. It was so wonderful! :)

  13. I'm so so excited for you Allie!! Yay for weddings on beaches :)

  14. I can absolutely understand what you mean. I really love clinique too..I never had better skin before using clinique!

    I really like these pictures..dream*-*

  15. SO SOON! :) Hooray! I can't believe how quickly time has flown by. You sound like you're in a really, really good mental place for being three months out. Way to go, girl!